Tweet 115 in my career success book Success Tweets says, “Become an excellent presenter.  Careers have been made on the strength of one or two great presentations.”  This is true.  And here’s some more great career advice.  Stories are the best way to make your presentations come alive.  Stories are a powerful way to communicate. We all learn through stories. If you learn how to use stories effectively, you will become a great presenter – and get on the fast track to the career success you want and deserve.

I’ve come up with a simple three-step formula that anyone can use to create powerful stories that will help you make your point.

1. Identify your truth – something that in your heart of hearts you know to be “true.”
2. Think of the critical experiences you’ve had that have led you to this “truth.”
3. Shape those experiences into a story that you can tell at the drop of a hat.

Here’s an example of how I have used this formula. It’s a real story I often tell – especially when I am doing a talk on the importance of putting yourself in another person’s shoes.

“One of the things that I know to be true is that if I am going to be a good communicator, I must meet other people where they are, not where I would like them to be. Let me tell you how I know this.

“Several years ago, I had an assignment to conduct a team-building session for a manufacturing plant manager and his staff. The client was a friend of mine. I knew him well.

“I arrived at his office about 5:00 the afternoon of the day before our session. He said, “Do you have an agenda for tomorrow’s meeting?”

“I said, “Well, first we’ll do A, then B, followed by C. We’ll finish up with D.”

“He said, “Do you have an agenda?”

“At first, I thought he hadn’t been listening to what I just said, so I repeated myself: “First we’ll do A, then B, followed by C. We’ll finish up with D.”

“He said, “Yes, I know. That’s what you just said. Do you have an agenda?”

“At that point, it dawned on me that he was looking for a printed agenda. I said ‘No, but we really don’t need one. I’ve done a lot of meetings like this. It will go fine.’

“He said, ‘I’m not comfortable winging it.’  So we created an agenda using PowerPoint.

“The next day, the meeting went off without a hitch. We followed the agenda that I had in my head and he had on the PowerPoint slide. Everyone agreed that it was one of the best meetings of this type that they had ever attended.

“As we were debriefing I asked my client what he thought of the meeting.

“He said, ‘It was a great meeting, but I think we were lucky because we were winging it.’

“That frustrated me. I wasn’t winging it.  I had carefully mapped out the meeting in my head.  I knew what I wanted to accomplish and how I wanted to accomplish it.  I didn’t say anything to the client at that point because I didn’t want to damage my relationship with him.

“On the flight home, I thought about what happened. He thought we were winging it, and I thought we were following a well thought-out plan. The difference – he needs more structure than me. The piece of paper with the agenda was very important to him and his sense of order. To me, the paper wasn’t necessary, because I knew in my head what to do and how to do it.

“It became clear to me that if I want to influence not just this client, but anyone, I need to adapt my communication style to theirs.  From that day on, I modify my communication style to meet the needs of the other person.  I realized that I want to be influential, I need to adapt my communication style to others, not expect them to adapt their style to mine.

“This was a valuable lesson for me.  By adapting my style, I become more influential and powerful.  It may seem as if I’m yielding, when in fact, I’m taking charge of the situation,”

The story above illustrates how you can use my 1 – 2 – 3 formula to construct a story that you can use to make a point.  First, identify your truth – something that in your heart of hearts you know to be “true.”  Second, think of the critical experiences you’ve had that have led you to this “truth.”  Third, shape those experiences into a story that you can tell at the drop of a hat.

In this case, here’s what I know to be true – effective communicators adapt their communication style to their audience.  I know this to be true because of the incident I described above (as well as several other experiences I’ve had in my career).  I can tell this story any time I want to make a point about the importance of adapting your communication style to your audience.

The next time you are asked to do a talk, use this formula to illustrate the main point you want to make.  You’ll do a great talk and but yourself on the fast track to the career success you deserve.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful people are great presenters.  As Tweet 115 in Success Tweets says, “Become an excellent presenter.  Careers have been made on the strength of one or two great presentations.”  Stories make presentations come alive.  They are not difficult to create.  Follow my 1 – 2 – 3 formula for creating and telling great stories.  First, identify your truth – something that in your heart of hearts you know to be “true.”  Second, think of the critical experiences you’ve had that have led you to this “truth.”  Third, shape those experiences into a story that you can tell at the drop of a hat.

That’s my career advice on how to create the stories that will brand you as a great presenter.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Tweet 115 in my career success book Success Tweets says, “Become an excellent presenter.  Careers have been made on the strength of one or two great presentations.”  This is true.  And here’s some more great career advice.  Stories are the best way to make your presentations come alive.  Stories are a powerful way to communicate. We all learn through stories. If you learn how to use stories effectively, you will become a great presenter – and get on the fast track to the career success you want and deserve.

I’ve come up with a simple three-step formula that anyone can use to create powerful stories that will help you make your point.

1. Identify your truth – something that in your heart of hearts you know to be “true.”
2. Think of the critical experiences you’ve had that have led you to this “truth.”
3. Shape those experiences into a story that you can tell at the drop of a hat.

Here’s an example of how I have used this formula. It’s a real story I often tell – especially when I am doing a talk on the importance of putting yourself in another person’s shoes.

“One of the things that I know to be true is that if I am going to be a good communicator, I must meet other people where they are, not where I would like them to be. Let me tell you how I know this.

“Several years ago, I had an assignment to conduct a team-building session for a manufacturing plant manager and his staff. The client was a friend of mine. I knew him well.

“I arrived at his office about 5:00 the afternoon of the day before our session. He said, “Do you have an agenda for tomorrow’s meeting?”

“I said, “Well, first we’ll do A, then B, followed by C. We’ll finish up with D.”

“He said, “Do you have an agenda?”

“At first, I thought he hadn’t been listening to what I just said, so I repeated myself: “First we’ll do A, then B, followed by C. We’ll finish up with D.”

“He said, “Yes, I know. That’s what you just said. Do you have an agenda?”

“At that point, it dawned on me that he was looking for a printed agenda. I said ‘No, but we really don’t need one. I’ve done a lot of meetings like this. It will go fine.’

“He said, ‘I’m not comfortable winging it.’  So we created an agenda using PowerPoint.

“The next day, the meeting went off without a hitch. We followed the agenda that I had in my head and he had on the PowerPoint slide. Everyone agreed that it was one of the best meetings of this type that they had ever attended.

“As we were debriefing I asked my client what he thought of the meeting.

“He said, ‘It was a great meeting, but I think we were lucky because we were winging it.’

“That frustrated me. I wasn’t winging it.  I had carefully mapped out the meeting in my head.  I knew what I wanted to accomplish and how I wanted to accomplish it.  I didn’t say anything to the client at that point because I didn’t want to damage my relationship with him.

“On the flight home, I thought about what happened. He thought we were winging it, and I thought we were following a well thought-out plan. The difference – he needs more structure than me. The piece of paper with the agenda was very important to him and his sense of order. To me, the paper wasn’t necessary, because I knew in my head what to do and how to do it.

“It became clear to me that if I want to influence not just this client, but anyone, I need to adapt my communication style to theirs.  From that day on, I modify my communication style to meet the needs of the other person.  I realized that I want to be influential, I need to adapt my communication style to others, not expect them to adapt their style to mine.

“This was a valuable lesson for me.  By adapting my style, I become more influential and powerful.  It may seem as if I’m yielding, when in fact, I’m taking charge of the situation,”

The story above illustrates how you can use my 1 – 2 – 3 formula to construct a story that you can use to make a point.  First, identify your truth – something that in your heart of hearts you know to be “true.”  Second, think of the critical experiences you’ve had that have led you to this “truth.”  Third, shape those experiences into a story that you can tell at the drop of a hat.

In this case, here’s what I know to be true – effective communicators adapt their communication style to their audience.  I know this to be true because of the incident I described above (as well as several other experiences I’ve had in my career).  I can tell this story any time I want to make a point about the importance of adapting your communication style to your audience.

The next time you are asked to do a talk, use this formula to illustrate the main point you want to make.  You’ll do a great talk and but yourself on the fast track to the career success you deserve.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful people are great presenters.  As Tweet 115 in Success Tweets says, “Become an excellent presenter.  Careers have been made on the strength of one or two great presentations.”  Stories make presentations come alive.  They are not difficult to create.  Follow my 1 – 2 – 3 formula for creating and telling great stories.  First, identify your truth – something that in your heart of hearts you know to be “true.”  Second, think of the critical experiences you’ve had that have led you to this “truth.”  Third, shape those experiences into a story that you can tell at the drop of a hat.

That’s my career advice on how to create the stories that will brand you as a great presenter.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Lisa Giruzzi is a friend of mine.  She is known as America’s Leading Communication Authority for Managers and Supervisors.  Recently I blogged about her new book, Bring Out the Best in Your Employees.  In that post, I mentioned that Lisa’s ideas on communication apply not only to managers and supervisors, but to anyone who wants to become a dynamic communicator. Dynamic communication is one of the keys to career success upon which I’ve built my membership site, My Corporate Climb.

I was so intrigued by Lisa’s ideas on communication that I asked her to write a little more about them for this career success blog.  She graciously agreed.  Check out what Lisa Giruzzi has to say about the importance of attitude when it comes to communication…

Successful Communication Begins with Attitude

When you take the case that communication is a far broader topic then merely speaking, listening, writing, reading, verbal and non verbal, when you recognize that communication is happening in every moment because we are always making meaning, then you can see the significance of this assertion, Successful Communication Begins with Attitude.

Our attitude does more than shape what we say out loud; it shapes how we interpret the world.  This goes beyond a positive or negative point of view or glass half full kind of stuff.  It includes that but really is more expansive. I am talking about the attitudes and beliefs we have developed over time, the ones that are so deeply embedded in our thinking that we don’t even question them.  It is just how we see the world. We forget that it is just our perspective and then we relate to the world as if everyone is seeing it the same way we do.

These deeply ingrained attitudes fundamentally are what we are communicating all the time. We may not verbalize them directly but they are communicated in a myriad of ways – in our speaking, our actions, our choices, our likes and dislikes, our judgments, and our opinions.

The first step to having successful communication with others is to identify underlying attitudes and beliefs and begin to question them.  Most importantly, it is essential to own your attitude and beliefs as only one way to see the world.  It is one perspective.  It is not the right one, or the best one. It is just the one that you formed over time.  And just because it makes perfect sense to you doesn’t make it right or mean that it will make sense to anyone else.

The next step is to accept others perspectives as justifiable interpretations of the world they see, from their perspective they cannot in this moment see it any other way. Arguing with their perspective will prevent successful communication.  Adopting the attitude that both your perspective and their perspectives are legitimate will enable authentic, meaningful communication to occur.  That is why successful communication begins with attitude.

I agree.  Lisa is on to something here.  Your attitude goes a long way in determining your communicationsuccess as well as your career success.

Tweet 124 in my career advice book Success Tweets goes directly to the importance of attitude when it comes to communication and relationship building.  It says, “Everyone has something to offer.  Never dismiss anyone out of hand.  Take the initiative.  Actively build relationships.”  To paraphrase Lisa, adopt the attitude that both your perspective and the perspective of others are equally legitimate.

Successful people have a deep respect for the dignity of each individual.  They have the attitude that everyone has something to offer.  It doesn’t matter if the person in front of you is the President of the United States, your boss, a co-worker, a taxi driver, a security guard or the housekeeper at your hotel.

Cathy, my wife, is the best example of someone who values every person she meets.  She is friends with everyone – the pharmacy techs where we get our prescriptions, the couple who own the dry cleaners where we do business, the supermarket checkout people and baggers, the servers at the restaurants we frequent, and on and on and on.

Cathy is genuinely interested in these people.  She knows their names, their spouses’ names and their kids’ names.  She inquires about their lives.  She knows about their vacations, what grades their kids are in school and lots of other things about them – all because she values them as individuals and takes the time to get to know them.  She is one of the least judgmental people I know.  Lisa would say that she has the correct attitude when it comes to communication.

If you want to create the life and career success you deserve, take a lesson from Cathy.  Adopt an open, caring, accepting attitude.  Pay attention to the people around you.  You will learn a lot and your life will be richer for it.  Don’t judge people by what they do.  Get to know others as individuals.  You’ll be surprised at what you learn.

I have had some very interesting conversations with taxi drivers in New York City.  These days, most of them are immigrants.  They love this country and are well-informed about it.  When I get into a taxi, most often the driver is listening to NPR or an all-news station.  I have had some great conversations about local and national politics, the state of the US economy, and sports with taxi drivers.

In Denver, I occasionally use a car service to go to and from the airport.  This service is a cooperative.  The members of the coop are all immigrants from Ethiopia.  They were all political refugees.  They love this country and are willing to discuss it in depth.  I love my rides to and from the airport with them.

And, I learned something very interesting.  Ethiopia was a Catholic country until the schism in 1066.  The Ethiopian Church sided with the Eastern Church in Constantinople and broke with Rome.  I was raised Catholic, but my father’s parents were Orthodox Christian, or Russian Orthodox as we called them.  In that tradition they celebrate Christmas on January 7 because they use a different calendar.

I remember having two Christmases when I was young.  I always got a small present on January 7.  Imagine my surprise when a guy from Africa told me that he couldn’t drive me to the airport on January 7 because he chose to stay at home and celebrate Christmas with his family.  This led to a very interesting discussion on how Ethiopia participated in the schism.  When the Ethiopian community in Denver was building a new church, Cathy and I were some of the donors.

See what I mean about treating everyone as if he or she has something to offer?  I never would have learned some valuable information about how similar the life experiences of a black guy from Ethiopia were to my own growing up had I not taken the time to engage this person in conversation.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 124 in Success Tweets.  “Everyone has something to offer.  Never dismiss anyone out of hand.  Take the initiative.  Actively build relationships.”  Following this career advice will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  More important, it will lead to a richer and fuller life.  When you have the right attitude, when you engage people, when you expect to find them to be interesting, you will open yourself up to a world of ideas that will not only help your career success, but will also help you succeed as a person.

That’s my career advice based on Lisa Giruzzi’s ideas on how attitude shapes your communication effectiveness.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  One is 140 bits of career advice, all in 140 characters or less.  The other is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new career advice book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get the career advice in I Want YOU… for free by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.PPS : You can get a free Special Report on “The 5 Most Common Mistakes Managers and Supervisors Make and How to Avoid Them,” from Lisa Giruzzi.  It is available at her website: http://www.YourCommunicationAuthority.com.

Lisa Giruzzi is a friend of mine.  She has just released a new book called Bringing Out the Best in Your Employees: The Ultimate Guide for Managers and Supervisors for Engaging and Empowering Employees to be More Successful and Productive Through Effective Communication. That’s quite a mouthful — and it’s quite a good book.

Effective communication is a life and career success skill that we all need – not just managers and supervisors.  That’s why I think that you should get a copy of Lisa’s new book as soon as you can.  Read it cover to cover.  Make notes, and then read it again.  It’s that good.

Lisa begins by suggesting that “communication is everything, and everything is communication.”  This might sound like doublespeak until you think about it.  She goes on to say “We communicate and receive communication through everything we experience.  Out mind is constantly interpreting what we are experiencing.  It is constantly making meaning of the world it sees.  Consequently, everything is communication.”

I agree with Lisa.  She makes a great point here.  We are constantly taking in and processing information.  We are constantly giving off signals that others take in and process.  In my career advice book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less, I focus on three forms of communication important for life and career success: conversation, writing and presenting.  Lisa goes way beyond these in this book – and that’s why I read it with great interest and suggest it to you.

Lisa uses a clever design for this book.  She has written 30 essays on a variety of communication topics.  My five favorite essays are:

• Be Willing to Learn
• Transformational versus Transactional Conversations
• Welcome Dissent
• Successful Communication is 100% Your Responsibility
• Power Over versus Power With.

She follows each essay with a page for taking notes.  She asks the reader to consider four questions on each of the notes pages:

1. What insight did I gain from this essay?
2. What does this insight mean for me personally?
3. What is the boldest action I can take regarding this insight?
4. What will I commit to doing as a result of this insight?

These are great questions that will help you crystalize your thinking on the ideas in the essay, but also help you do something more important for your career success – take positive action for becoming a better communicator.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  You have to be a great communicator if you want to create the life and career success you want and deserve.  Lisa Giruzzi’s new book, Bringing Out the Best in Your Employees, while written for people in formal leadership positions contains some great career success advice –for leaders and people not in formal leadership positions.  Learning and applying the ideas in Lisa’s book will put you on the road to career success – and will probably help you get promoted into a people leader position.  The most important point here is that you can’t not communicate – everything you do and say, every little eye movement or body shift communicates to the people around you.  Get conscious about how you communicate and you will become not only a better communicator, you’ll become the life and career success you deserve to be.

That’s my career advice inspired by Lisa Giruzzi’s new book Bringing Out the Best In Your Employees.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened my new membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get your free copy of I Want YOU by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.com.

Did you watch any of the Tour de France?  Cadel Evans of Australia won it all.  He was amazing to watch in the Alps on Thursday and Friday and in the time trial on Saturday.  I was glued to my TV set every night during the race.  I found it oddly compelling – don’t know what it is, but bicycle racing is very interesting to me.   We’re having a pro cycling race here in Colorado in August.  I’m looking forward to watching a few stages in person.

Today’s career advice comes from a story related to the Tour de France.  Lance Armstrong won several Tours while riding for the now defunct US Postal Service team.  I was in my local bike shop around the time he was winning all those tours.  They were offering a US Postal Service bike team cap for sale.  I bought one and was quite proud to wear it.

I was wearing it in a local supermarket where I went to pick up a few things.  The checkout woman looked at my hat and said, “Do you work for the post office?”  I said “no,” and explained about the USPS pro cycling team.  I got a blank stare in return.

There is some common sense career advice in this story.  Here it is…

Never assume that you know what other people are thinking.  You’ll be wrong a lot of the time.

Assumptions are a great communication killer.   Here’s another story to illustrate that point…

Rob Likoff is a friend of mine.  He lives in New York and is a big basketball fan.  The license plate on one of his cars has a New York Knicks logo in the middle with the letters SLM DNK flanking it.  Most people quickly recognize this as “Slam Dunk.”

One day, Rob was taking a client to lunch.  As they approached his car, she asked him if he had met a lot of women as a result of his license plate.  He was somewhat puzzled and asked her what she thought the letters meant.  She said, “That’s easy – Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids.”  Rob was flabbergasted.  He was 100% sure that anyone who saw his vanity plate would realize that it meant Slam Dunk.   By the way, his other car has a vanity plate that says “FST BRK.”  I’ll give a free download of my latest career success book I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb to everyone who deciphers that license plate message correctly and leaves a comment.

Back to the story…

While it might seem strange that someone would interpret a message meant to be “Slam Dunk” as “Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids” it makes more sense if you understand the context.  This particular woman is single and in her mid 30’s.  She had mentioned to Rob on more than one occasion that she would like to get married and start a family.  Her biological clock was ticking.  When you look at the license plate from her position, it makes some sense that “Slam Dunk” means “Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids.”

My US Postal Service bicycling team hat and Rob’s vanity plate stories illustrate the importance of not making assumptions when it comes to human communication.  Assumptions are communication killers and, more important, potential relationship killers.  Test your assumptions.  Make sure you are actually communicating, instead of just thinking you are.  This is true for all three of the major forms of business communication – conversation, writing and presenting.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  If you want to create the life and career success you want and deserve, you need to become a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presenting.  Assumptions are communication killers.  Dynamic communicators test their assumptions to make sure that the message they are intending to send is actually being received by other people.  Put yourself in the place of the people with whom you are communicating.  Are they likely to understand the nuances of what you are saying?  If not, take the time to explain things as you go along.

That’s my career advice on becoming a dynamic communicator.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

Did you watch any of the Tour de France?  Cadel Evans of Australia won it all.  He was amazing to watch in the Alps on Thursday and Friday and in the time trial on Saturday.  I was glued to my TV set every night during the race.  I found it oddly compelling – don’t know what it is, but bicycle racing is very interesting to me.   We’re having a pro cycling race here in Colorado in August.  I’m looking forward to watching a few stages in person.

Today’s career advice comes from a story related to the Tour de France.  Lance Armstrong won several Tours while riding for the now defunct US Postal Service team.  I was in my local bike shop around the time he was winning all those tours.  They were offering a US Postal Service bike team cap for sale.  I bought one and was quite proud to wear it.

I was wearing it in a local supermarket where I went to pick up a few things.  The checkout woman looked at my hat and said, “Do you work for the post office?”  I said “no,” and explained about the USPS pro cycling team.  I got a blank stare in return.

There is some common sense career advice in this story.  Here it is…

Never assume that you know what other people are thinking.  You’ll be wrong a lot of the time.

Assumptions are a great communication killer.   Here’s another story to illustrate that point…

Rob Likoff is a friend of mine.  He lives in New York and is a big basketball fan.  The license plate on one of his cars has a New York Knicks logo in the middle with the letters SLM DNK flanking it.  Most people quickly recognize this as “Slam Dunk.”

One day, Rob was taking a client to lunch.  As they approached his car, she asked him if he had met a lot of women as a result of his license plate.  He was somewhat puzzled and asked her what she thought the letters meant.  She said, “That’s easy – Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids.”  Rob was flabbergasted.  He was 100% sure that anyone who saw his vanity plate would realize that it meant Slam Dunk.   By the way, his other car has a vanity plate that says “FST BRK.”  I’ll give a free download of my latest career success book I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb to everyone who deciphers that license plate message correctly and leaves a comment.

Back to the story…

While it might seem strange that someone would interpret a message meant to be “Slam Dunk” as “Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids” it makes more sense if you understand the context.  This particular woman is single and in her mid 30’s.  She had mentioned to Rob on more than one occasion that she would like to get married and start a family.  Her biological clock was ticking.  When you look at the license plate from her position, it makes some sense that “Slam Dunk” means “Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids.”

My US Postal Service bicycling team hat and Rob’s vanity plate stories illustrate the importance of not making assumptions when it comes to human communication.  Assumptions are communication killers and, more important, potential relationship killers.  Test your assumptions.  Make sure you are actually communicating, instead of just thinking you are.  This is true for all three of the major forms of business communication – conversation, writing and presenting.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  If you want to create the life and career success you want and deserve, you need to become a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presenting.  Assumptions are communication killers.  Dynamic communicators test their assumptions to make sure that the message they are intending to send is actually being received by other people.  Put yourself in the place of the people with whom you are communicating.  Are they likely to understand the nuances of what you are saying?  If not, take the time to explain things as you go along.

That’s my career advice on becoming a dynamic communicator.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

I had a conversation with a prospective new client the other day.  It went particularly well.  It appears as if I will get some significant new consulting business as a result.  As I thought about the conversation that evening, I realized that I followed my own career success advice as presented in Tweets 106 and 107 in my career advice book, Success Tweets.

Tweet 106 says, “Demonstrate your understanding of others’ points of view.  Listen well and ask question if you don’t understand.”  Tweet 107 says, “Become an excellent conversationalist by listening more than speaking.  Pay attention to what other people say; respond appropriately.”

The conversation I mentioned above was a sales call.  You’d think that I’d want to do most of the talking in a sales call.  After all, the purpose of the conversation was to make a sale.  I needed to explain all of the ways I could help this guy and his company.

But that’s not the way things work.  By listening to what he had to say, I got a very good understanding of his problems and concerns.  As he spoke about them, he began to convince himself that he needed my services.  I had to say very little. 

Basically, I listened to what he said.  I made sure that he knew I understood his problems and concerns; I asked questions and I summarized as he spoke.  When the time was right, I shared a couple of stories about my experiences, but in the context of what he was saying.  By doing these three simple things, it became apparent to him that I had the sort of experience that he needs. 

By the time we were finished with the conversation, he was comfortable with me – as a person and as a professional who understands him and his needs.  We set a follow up date to move forward with a consulting project.  In that conversation, I’ll lay out my plan for moving forward and the costs associated with it.  I wish all sales calls were this easy.

This sales call went great because I followed six important conversation steps.

1. Acknowledge the other person as an equal.  You cannot have a good conversation if you don’t recognize one another as equals.  Regardless of your hierarchical relation to the other person – if he or she is your boss, peer or subordinate – remember that we are all human beings.  As such, we are entitled to respect and dignity.  Talk with people, not to them and you’ll be surprised at the quality of your discussions.

2. Stay curious about the other person.  People are fascinating.  I have had some of the most interesting conversations with limo and cab drivers.  Often they are immigrants.  It’s interesting to hear their take on life in the USA.  Be curious about the people you know, too.  People are always growing and changing.  When you express your curiosity you’ll be bound to find out new and interesting things about old friends and acquaintances.

3. Recognize that we need each other’s help to become better listeners.  Help others listen.  Think before you speak.  Speak clearly.  Ask them questions; answer the questions they ask you.  Ccommunication in general and conversation in particular is a process fraught with potential misconnects.  So listen hard to others and make it easy for them to listen to you.

4. Slow down to have the time to think and reflect.  When you slow down, you do indeed have time to think.  Don’t be afraid to pause and reflect on a question.  This shows the other person that you are carefully considering your response – not just saying the first thing that comes to mind.  Other people will appreciate you for your thoughtfulness, not knock you for not being quick or clever enough.

5. Remember that conversation is the natural way for humans to think together.  I love this idea.  The idea of “thinking together” is great career advice.  The world would be a better place if we all “thought together” instead of thinking separately and trying to convince others that our thoughts are better than theirs.  Since this is the season, I would love to see political debates where the candidates worked together to develop an approach to handling a problem or issue – instead of watching them advance their ideas while taking swipes at the other person’s ideas.

6. Expect it to be messy at times.  Conversation is messy.  That’s OK.  In fact, I think it’s great.  Some of the best ideas come out of messy conversations.  The willingness to get into the mess and slop around is what frees your creativity.

I really like the last point – expect it to be messy.  My sales conversation the other day was very messy.  While we stayed on track overall, we also discussed David Beckham, Manchester United Football Club, The King’s Speech, Upstairs Downstairs, bachelor parties and the history of the labor movement in the USA.  Did I mention that this guy is a Brit?  He was impressed with my knowledge of his country and his favorite sport – football, or soccer, as we American’s call the game.  All of this made him more comfortable with me as another human being – not just some consultant come calling to sell him something.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are great conversationalists.  They follow the career advice in Tweets 106 and 107 in Success Tweets.  “Demonstrate your understanding of others’ points of view.  Listen well and ask questions if you don’t understand.”  “Become an excellent conversationalist by listening more than speaking.  Pay attention to what other people say; respond appropriately.”  Listening takes a bit of work, but it is worth it in the long run.  It will help you become a dynamic communicator and build solid relationships that will fuel your life and career success.  Remember my six keys for conversation success.  They are great career advice.  1) Acknowledge one another as equals; 2) Stay curious about one another; 3) Recognize that we need each other’s help to become better listeners; 4) Slow down to have the time to think and reflect; 5) Remember that conversation is the natural way for humans to think together; 6) Expect it to be messy at times.

That’s my career advice on conversation and career success.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading my musings on life and career success.  I appreciate you and I value you.

Bud

This is another career advice blog post coming to you from England where the weather is a little bit better today, some blue sky.

Diane Craig is a friend and owner of a great career advice website called Corporate Class Inc.  Check her out at http://www.corporateclassinc.com. 

Last week, she sent me an email asking if we could do guest posts on each other’s blogs.  I jumped at the opportunity.  Diane has some great things to say about creating positive personal impact – one of my keys to life and career success. 

Here are her thoughts on e-Body Language, an often overlooked, but very important key to creating positive personal impact…

When I established my Executive Presence Training Program, body language was an important building block. Still is, when you consider that our strongest impressions are conveyed visually. The subtleties or nuances of even minimal body movements and gestures provide important signals. Body language speaks volumes.

Today, however, there’s another lingua franca in the workplace that has become the cornerstone of all business communications. Although often referred to as e-body language, I think “techno-communications” really covers it all — email, cell phones, mobile devices. When we can’t see a person speaking, we look for other interpretative clues to help decipher the message. Words and tone become the carrier pigeons for emails, text messaging and obviously, phone calls.

But just for a minute, let’s return to body language. Professor Albert Mehrabian is frequently quoted for his non-verbal communication research on what’s often called The 3 V’s: visual, vocal, verbal. His published studies indicate that, person-to-person, we interpret messages:

• Visually — 55% from facial expressions
• Vocally — 38% from voice quality and the way words are spoken
• Verbally —7% from the actual words

With techno or e-communications, the relevance of the actual word choice increases dramatically. Obviously, the spoken tone upstages language on phone calls — we hear anger or joy — but with emails, words become the stars of the show. From the minor 7% bit player in face-to-face communication, words now move up to 70%, a big change of roles.

 Just for a moment, consider the permanence of email. The sender has no control over the message, in terms of its “replay” frequency or readership. And this is worrisome for the simple reason that as we have become more and more dependent on email and message texting instead of personal meetings, we’ve become not lazy or careless, just less attentive.

When it comes to trend spotting, I’m on autopilot, and I’ve noticed this shift. There’s a time for easy-breezy e-chitchat, emoticons and buzzword abbreviations like “BTW,” but business email isn’t the place.

I’m not advocating a return to old-fashioned correspondence. Au contraire. Techno-savvy communication is essential in our feverishly fast-paced world. I’m simply pointing out that attention-to-detail is mandatory with every email or text message.

 We all make email typos. Spell Check isn’t clever enough to highlight “tow” when we meant to type “two,” in a hastily composed message. Take an extra minute to proofread; it’s such an easy solution. Robert Whipple, CEO of Leadergrow and author of Understanding E-Body Language, raises an important point:

 “Everyone knows that E-mail is different from conversations, but often people do not consciously change communication patterns based on that knowledge. For example, people cannot modify content of an e-mail based on the real-time visible reaction of the other party as is possible in face-to-face conversations. Instead, all of the information is presented at once without feedback. Misunderstandings or hurt feelings are common.”

 Then there’s the embarrassment-email category. It could be called really-big-blunders and criticism heads the list. Believe me, a follow-up email with an “Oops” subject line just doesn’t strike the right chord!

And remember, the original, offensive message is floating around in cyberspace for posterity. When in doubt, put the brakes on. Send the message to yourself and reassess its implications.

The inherent limitations of texting can be a bonus. We tend to be more forgiving about the often heavily abbreviated and occasionally hieroglyphic content. Mobile devices function as prompters or mini-message boards — it’s the protocols of usage that are the problem.

Park your mobile device in your pocket or purse when you attend a meeting. Every time you’re tempted to make an exception, don’t. Remember instead your suppressed sense exasperation when fidgeting fingers signaled you were talking to yourself.

Same story for cell phones. Of course, we all know cell phones must be parked and off before meetings, big or small, but most people seem to think this rule only applies to others. The fact is, from cell phones to emails and mobile devices, techno-communications present a long learning curve. I think we’ve just started the journey.

 As Diane Craig of Corporate Class Inc points out, the common sense career success coach point here is simple.  In today’s wireless world, your e-Body Language is as important as your in person body language.  How you use your mobile devices can brand you as a warm, caring individual, or a rude self absorbed one.  Follow Diane’s excellent career advice and brand yourself as warm and caring individual.

 That’s my take on Diane Craig’s excellent career advice on e-Body Language.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my musings on life and career success.  I value you and your input.

 Bud

Today is President’s Day in the USA.  If you are lucky enough to have a day off, enjoy it. 

They played the NBA All Star game yesterday.  That reminded me of one of my favorite career success stories.  Read on to check it out…

Communication is a key life and career success skill.  The ability to engage in meaningful conversation is a key communication success skill.  Tweet 104 in my latest career advice book Success Tweets says “Learn how to handle yourself in conversation.  A brief conversation with the right person can greatly help – or hinder – your career success.”

As I always tell my career success coach clients, assumptions can kill a conversation.  As I write this, I’m reminded of one of my favorite George Bernard Shaw plays, You Never Can Tell.

Mr. Bohun is a character in the play.  He is a know-it-all.  He repeats the line, “You think you do, but you don’t” several times in the play.

What does this have to do with assumptions?  Everything, in my book.  As we engage people in conversation, we often think we know everything about them – their backgrounds, motivations, likes and dislikes.  Unfortunately, we think we do, but usually we don’t.

Now to the basketball part of the story.  Ioften tell this story when I am speaking to my career success coach clients… 

Rob Likoff is a friend of mine.  He is a partner in a very successful internet marketing services business.  Rob lives in New York City and is a huge New York Knicks fan.  If you’re not a basketball fan, the Knicks are the professional basketball team in New York.

Rob is such a fan that he has Knicks’ vanity license plates on both of his cars.  These plates have the Knicks logo in the middle.  One has the letters FST BRK (fast break – a basketball term) on either side of the logo.  The other has the letters SLM DNK (slam dunk – another basketball term) on either side of the logo.

One day, Rob was with a woman client.  They were going to lunch, and were taking his car with the SLM DNK plates.  As they approached the car, she said, “Have you met many women with your license plate?”

Rob thought this was kind of strange, and said, “No, why do you ask?”

She replied, “Because of what it says.”

Rob said, “What do you think it says?”

She said, “Simple, Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids.”

Pretty bizarre, right?  Wrong. 

Both Rob and his client thought they knew what the license plate says, but they didn’t.  Rob is a basketball fan.  He assumed that anyone seeing a license plate with the Knicks logo in the middle and the letters SLM DNK would automatically know that it meant “slam dunk.”

His client was a 30 something, single woman.  She had mentioned to him on another occasion that she feels her biological clock ticking.  She would like to get married and start a family.  If you look at it from her point of view, you can see where “slam dunk” would mean “single ladies man, divorced no kids.”

Back to George Bernard Shaw and Mr. Bohun  — they both thought they knew, but they didn’t.

And that’s the common sense career success coach point for today.  As the career advice in Tweet 104 in Success Tweets points out, a brief conversation with the right person can greatly help or hinder your career success.  Good conversationalists don’t make assumptions.  Assumptions can really derail a conversation.  Never make assumptions about the other person or his or her thoughts and motivations when you are in a conversation.  When you find you are making assumptions, test them out.  Ask, “Why do you thing that is so?”  Remember, in many cases you really don’t know what the other person is thinking or feeling.  To quote Bernard Shaw, “You think you do; but you don’t.”

That’s my best career advice about how assumptions can be conversation killers.  What’s yours?  Do you have any funny stories about how assumptions have hampered some of your conversations?  If so, please take a minute to share them with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my musings on life and career success.

Bud

Today is President’s Day in the USA.  If you are lucky enough to have a day off, enjoy it. 

They played the NBA All Star game yesterday.  That reminded me of one of my favorite career success stories.  Read on to check it out…

Communication is a key life and career success skill.  The ability to engage in meaningful conversation is a key communication success skill.  Tweet 104 in my latest career advice book Success Tweets says “Learn how to handle yourself in conversation.  A brief conversation with the right person can greatly help – or hinder – your career success.”

As I always tell my career success coach clients, assumptions can kill a conversation.  As I write this, I’m reminded of one of my favorite George Bernard Shaw plays, You Never Can Tell.

Mr. Bohun is a character in the play.  He is a know-it-all.  He repeats the line, “You think you do, but you don’t” several times in the play.

What does this have to do with assumptions?  Everything, in my book.  As we engage people in conversation, we often think we know everything about them – their backgrounds, motivations, likes and dislikes.  Unfortunately, we think we do, but usually we don’t.

Now to the basketball part of the story.  Ioften tell this story when I am speaking to my career success coach clients… 

Rob Likoff is a friend of mine.  He is a partner in a very successful internet marketing services business.  Rob lives in New York City and is a huge New York Knicks fan.  If you’re not a basketball fan, the Knicks are the professional basketball team in New York.

Rob is such a fan that he has Knicks’ vanity license plates on both of his cars.  These plates have the Knicks logo in the middle.  One has the letters FST BRK (fast break – a basketball term) on either side of the logo.  The other has the letters SLM DNK (slam dunk – another basketball term) on either side of the logo.

One day, Rob was with a woman client.  They were going to lunch, and were taking his car with the SLM DNK plates.  As they approached the car, she said, “Have you met many women with your license plate?”

Rob thought this was kind of strange, and said, “No, why do you ask?”

She replied, “Because of what it says.”

Rob said, “What do you think it says?”

She said, “Simple, Single Ladies Man, Divorced No Kids.”

Pretty bizarre, right?  Wrong. 

Both Rob and his client thought they knew what the license plate says, but they didn’t.  Rob is a basketball fan.  He assumed that anyone seeing a license plate with the Knicks logo in the middle and the letters SLM DNK would automatically know that it meant “slam dunk.”

His client was a 30 something, single woman.  She had mentioned to him on another occasion that she feels her biological clock ticking.  She would like to get married and start a family.  If you look at it from her point of view, you can see where “slam dunk” would mean “single ladies man, divorced no kids.”

Back to George Bernard Shaw and Mr. Bohun  — they both thought they knew, but they didn’t.

And that’s the common sense career success coach point for today.  As the career advice in Tweet 104 in Success Tweets points out, a brief conversation with the right person can greatly help or hinder your career success.  Good conversationalists don’t make assumptions.  Assumptions can really derail a conversation.  Never make assumptions about the other person or his or her thoughts and motivations when you are in a conversation.  When you find you are making assumptions, test them out.  Ask, “Why do you thing that is so?”  Remember, in many cases you really don’t know what the other person is thinking or feeling.  To quote Bernard Shaw, “You think you do; but you don’t.”

That’s my best career advice about how assumptions can be conversation killers.  What’s yours?  Do you have any funny stories about how assumptions have hampered some of your conversations?  If so, please take a minute to share them with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my musings on life and career success.

Bud