I was visiting with a client last week.  We were discussing political debates and attack ads. She felt that nastiness is a sign of the times.  She was lamenting the fact that we are not as civil to one another as we once were.  I agree.  Today, it can seem like being polite and mannerly is a thing of the past.  That’s the bad news.

The good news is that you can brand yourself as a polished professional by being polite and mannerly.   Tweet 73 in my career success book, Success Tweets says, “Be gracious.  Know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.  Everybody likes to be around polite and mannerly people.”

A couple of years ago, I published a book called Straight Talk for Success.  A few months after it came out, I received an email from a young guy named Jim whose boss had given him a copy of Straight Talk.  In part, here’s what it said…

Bud:

I read your book Straight Talk for Success, excellent.  You are indeed the common sense guy!  I have learned a ton from reading that book from how to brand myself, to dinner etiquette (glass on the right, bread dish on the left, outside-in with utensils).  Truly found your book easy to read and loved it…

I am 27 and feel like a sponge for all this information.

Just wanted to thank you for your words of wisdom and for writing about some of the unwritten rules in business.

That was great.  I always like to receive positive feedback on what I write.  However, I was gratified that by sending me an email, Jim was putting to work some of my advice on creating positive personal impact.  He showed me that he is a guy who understands the basics of etiquette.

Have you ever sent an email to an author thanking him for what he’s written?  Did you get a response?  Please leave a comment sharing your experience – positive or negative – with us.

Here’s a personal story about this.  A couple of years ago, I was in the New York City area.  When I’m there I listen to Q 104.3, the classic rock station.  Maria Milito was on as I was driving to the airport.  She played a great set.  When I got to the airport, I logged on to the Q104.3 site and sent her an email telling her I enjoyed her show.  I got a response from her in less than a half hour – big time New York DJ responds directly to an email from a listener.  Everybody likes positive feedback – trust me on this career advice.

Back to Jim’s email to me — sending a thank you note to someone who has done something for you is common sense and proper etiquette.  Sending a note to a stranger whose book you read and enjoyed is even better.  By doing so, Jim branded himself (in my mind at least) as an interpersonally competent guy, a polished professional, someone who is business savvy.

There is no difference between business etiquette and social etiquette.  Well mannered people always focus on making other people feel comfortable and appreciated – whether in a business or social setting.

As Jim points out when he mentioned business dining etiquette, there are some rules to follow.  But the rules only make it easier to concentrate on the conversation instead of worrying about making a social gaffe.  Most people will overlook minor faux pas if you are truly gracious.  It is a good idea to brush up on dining etiquette before important business lunches or dinners and interviews.

Sharon Hill is a friend and etiquette consultant.  She once told me a story of a young man who lost a sales job because he didn’t know how to properly eat a foil-wrapped baked potato.  Do you know how to eat a foil-wrapped baked potato properly?  I’ll send the eBook version of Straight Talk for Success to the first person who responds with the correct answer to this question.

Personally, I think the baked potato story is a sad one – for the young man and his potential boss.  Not knowing a minor point of dining etiquette shouldn’t disqualify an otherwise qualified candidate from a job offer.  If that’s the candidate’s only flaw, he can learn that lesson once and be on his way to his career success.  However, in this case the hiring manager saw it as a deal breaker – and he had the ultimate say-so.

When it comes to manners and etiquette there is an old saying…

Those who know, know.  Those who don’t know, don’t know.  Those who know, always know those who don’t know.

Think about it.  Take the advice of this career success coach.  Learn and follow the basic rules of etiquette – especially dining etiquette.  You’ll look polished.  You’ll present well.  More important, you won’t have to worry about the rules when you’re in a social situation.  You’ll be able to concentrate on the conversation – which is the important reason for any business meal

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful people brand themselves as polished professionals. They create positive personal impact.  You can create positive personal impact by becoming known as a gracious person.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 73 in Success Tweets.  “Be gracious.  Know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.  Everybody likes to be around polite and mannerly people.”  Small things – like saying “please” and “thank you,” smiling at others, taking a second to hold a door for someone who has an arm-full of packages, allowing someone to cut in front of you in traffic – are the marks of gracious people.  A strong personal brand also helps create positive impact.  If you build your personal brand on gracious and ethical behavior, you will be well on your way to your life and career success.

That’s my career advice on being gracious, polite and mannerly.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb/

As I’ve often said, I get inspiration for this career success blog in odd places.  I’ve been having some pain in my right heel lately.  Last week I went to see a podiatrist about it – Dr. Gene Rosenthall.  Usually, I don’t enjoy doctor visits – long waits, doctors who are condescending, few answers to my problem.

I had the exact opposite experience with Gene Rosethall.  He saw me within two or three minutes of my scheduled appointment — and apologized for keeping me waiting.  He came in an introduced himself as “Gene Rosenthall,” not “Dr. Rosenthall,” putting us on an even footing; two people who were meeting to solve a problem.  He showed me the results of the X-Ray taken by his assistant, and then asked if it were OK with me if he left for a minute to plug in the computer, so he wouldn’t lose any data.  In short, he was extremely polite and engaging.

I enjoyed this visit and didn’t even mind that the X-Ray showed that I have a bone spur on my right heel – probably as a result of all those years on the rugby pitch.  If you need a podiatrist in Denver, you need to see Dr. Gene Rosenthall at Rose Medical Center.

There is a career success point here.  Gene Rosenthall is a gentleman.  Being a gentleman never goes out of style.  Tweet 76 in my career advice book Success Tweets says “Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old fashioned.  It’s smart business and leads to your life and career success.”

Last year, I did a series of podcasts on career and life success.  Lydia Ramsey was one of my guests.  Lydia is the author of a great book, Manners That Sell.  She is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol.  She works with corporations, non-profit and educational institutions, helping people avoid the faux pas that can derail a career.  She also writes a weekly business etiquette column in the Savannah Morning News.  Recently, Lydia and I coauthored a book called Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.

Here is an excerpt of my interview with Lydia.

Bud:  One of the things I’d like to discuss is a word I use a lot.  And that word is “gentleman”.  I tell people that I try to conduct myself as a gentleman at all times.  When I say this, I sometimes get some pretty weird looks.  I’m wondering what your take is on this.  Is being a gentleman or being a lady a dated concept?

Lydia:  Well, in some ways I think that it has become that way.  We’ve gotten so politically correct with the terms that we use that we’ve lost some important words in our language, like gentleman and lady.  We’re just overly cautious.  Many people in business don’t necessarily want to be referred to as gentlemen and ladies.  They want to be men and ladies.  On the other hand, there are organizations like the Ritz Carlton who want everybody to be referred to, including their own employees, as ladies and gentlemen.  Their motto is “ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen”.

Bud:  That’s really interesting.  I take it just from what you write and your whole focus on etiquette that being a gentleman or a lady can never be harmful to your career.

Lydia:  Right, you can never be too nice.  And you can never be too courteous and respectful of other people.  That’s really what etiquette is about and what manners are about.

Bud:  I agree.  So why are manners and etiquette so important for success?

Lydia:  Well, I like to think about etiquette and manners as not necessarily about the rules, but about the relationships that we have with people and the way that we treat people.  And all of this, as you know, is really built on relationships… relationships with your clients, with your customers, with your coworkers.  Treating people well and with courtesy and respect is a way to build those relationships and to maintain them.

Bud:  That’s interesting.  Tell me a little bit more about this – not rules, but relationships.  I’m interested because I think a lot of people feel they need to pull out their Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post book and make sure that they do things exactly correct.  What I’m hearing you say is that’s not as important as the way you treat other people.

Lydia:  That’s right.  If your mindset is really about being courteous to other people and just basically being nice to other people then you’re going to be exhibiting good manners.  That’s really what it’s about.  It’s not about a whole set of rules that somebody came up with that were designed to make us all a little crazy or paranoid or whatever.  But it’s really about knowing what to do in certain cases.  Obviously you want to do the right thing.  But you will be doing the right thing if you’re thinking about the other person’s comfort and the other person’s ease.

Bud:  So the real key thing is to think about the other person, put yourself in their place, try to make them feel comfortable and you’re likely to not go too far wrong from an etiquette or a manners point.

Lydia:  That’s right.

I like Lydia Ramsey’s common sense approach to etiquette and how it can help you create the life and career success you deserve:

• Think about other people.
• Put yourself in their place.
• Try to make them feel comfortable.

If you do this, you won’t go wrong from an etiquette or manners standpoint.  What could be easier or more common sense?  In other words, most etiquette comes down to behaving like a lady or gentleman – the point I make in Success Tweet 76.

Zach Bussey is a Twitter friend of mine.  He lives in Toronto and I live in Denver.  Isn’t the Internet a great thing?  Zach really understands social media.  A while back, Zach and I exchanged a few tweets on the importance of saying thank you.  Here’s one of the tweets Zach sent me…

“The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”

I agree.  A sincere “thank you” always makes my day.  I really appreciate the people who take the time to thank me for these blog posts and my daily success quotes.  My day gets a little brighter every time someone thanks me.

That’s why I end every one of my blog posts with, “Thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.”  I really appreciate the time you take to read my blog.  Thanking you is the least I can do to show this appreciation.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.   Etiquette is a matter of common sense.  Lydia Ramsey, a leading etiquette consultant, says it’s as simple as one, two, three: 1) Think about other people; 2) Put yourself in their place; 3) Do whatever you can to make them feel comfortable.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 76 in Success Tweets.  “Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old-fashioned; it’s smart business and leads to a successful life and career.”  Ladies and gentlemen are gracious.  They don’t worry about the rules.  They worry about making other people feel comfortable and accepted.  Saying “Thank you” often is a great way to brand yourself as a lady or gentleman.  And, as Zach Bussey points out, “The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”  Go ahead, be a lady or gentleman.  Other people will like you, you’ll like yourself more, and you’ll be on the road to the career success you deserve.

That’s my career advice prompted by a visit to Dr. Gene Rosenthall.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  And as always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new career advice book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get the career advice in I Want YOU… for free by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

As I’ve often said, I get inspiration for this career success blog in odd places.  I’ve been having some pain in my right heel lately.  Last week I went to see a podiatrist about it – Dr. Gene Rosenthall.  Usually, I don’t enjoy doctor visits – long waits, doctors who are condescending, few answers to my problem.

I had the exact opposite experience with Gene Rosethall.  He saw me within two or three minutes of my scheduled appointment — and apologized for keeping me waiting.  He came in an introduced himself as “Gene Rosenthall,” not “Dr. Rosenthall,” putting us on an even footing; two people who were meeting to solve a problem.  He showed me the results of the X-Ray taken by his assistant, and then asked if it were OK with me if he left for a minute to plug in the computer, so he wouldn’t lose any data.  In short, he was extremely polite and engaging.

I enjoyed this visit and didn’t even mind that the X-Ray showed that I have a bone spur on my right heel – probably as a result of all those years on the rugby pitch.  If you need a podiatrist in Denver, you need to see Dr. Gene Rosenthall at Rose Medical Center.

There is a career success point here.  Gene Rosenthall is a gentleman.  Being a gentleman never goes out of style.  Tweet 76 in my career advice book Success Tweets says “Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old fashioned.  It’s smart business and leads to your life and career success.”

Last year, I did a series of podcasts on career and life success.  Lydia Ramsey was one of my guests.  Lydia is the author of a great book, Manners That Sell.  She is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol.  She works with corporations, non-profit and educational institutions, helping people avoid the faux pas that can derail a career.  She also writes a weekly business etiquette column in the Savannah Morning News.  Recently, Lydia and I coauthored a book called Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.

Here is an excerpt of my interview with Lydia.

Bud:  One of the things I’d like to discuss is a word I use a lot.  And that word is “gentleman”.  I tell people that I try to conduct myself as a gentleman at all times.  When I say this, I sometimes get some pretty weird looks.  I’m wondering what your take is on this.  Is being a gentleman or being a lady a dated concept?

Lydia:  Well, in some ways I think that it has become that way.  We’ve gotten so politically correct with the terms that we use that we’ve lost some important words in our language, like gentleman and lady.  We’re just overly cautious.  Many people in business don’t necessarily want to be referred to as gentlemen and ladies.  They want to be men and ladies.  On the other hand, there are organizations like the Ritz Carlton who want everybody to be referred to, including their own employees, as ladies and gentlemen.  Their motto is “ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen”.

Bud:  That’s really interesting.  I take it just from what you write and your whole focus on etiquette that being a gentleman or a lady can never be harmful to your career.

Lydia:  Right, you can never be too nice.  And you can never be too courteous and respectful of other people.  That’s really what etiquette is about and what manners are about.

Bud:  I agree.  So why are manners and etiquette so important for success?

Lydia:  Well, I like to think about etiquette and manners as not necessarily about the rules, but about the relationships that we have with people and the way that we treat people.  And all of this, as you know, is really built on relationships… relationships with your clients, with your customers, with your coworkers.  Treating people well and with courtesy and respect is a way to build those relationships and to maintain them.

Bud:  That’s interesting.  Tell me a little bit more about this – not rules, but relationships.  I’m interested because I think a lot of people feel they need to pull out their Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post book and make sure that they do things exactly correct.  What I’m hearing you say is that’s not as important as the way you treat other people.

Lydia:  That’s right.  If your mindset is really about being courteous to other people and just basically being nice to other people then you’re going to be exhibiting good manners.  That’s really what it’s about.  It’s not about a whole set of rules that somebody came up with that were designed to make us all a little crazy or paranoid or whatever.  But it’s really about knowing what to do in certain cases.  Obviously you want to do the right thing.  But you will be doing the right thing if you’re thinking about the other person’s comfort and the other person’s ease.

Bud:  So the real key thing is to think about the other person, put yourself in their place, try to make them feel comfortable and you’re likely to not go too far wrong from an etiquette or a manners point.

Lydia:  That’s right.

I like Lydia Ramsey’s common sense approach to etiquette and how it can help you create the life and career success you deserve:

• Think about other people.
• Put yourself in their place.
• Try to make them feel comfortable.

If you do this, you won’t go wrong from an etiquette or manners standpoint.  What could be easier or more common sense?  In other words, most etiquette comes down to behaving like a lady or gentleman – the point I make in Success Tweet 76.

Zach Bussey is a Twitter friend of mine.  He lives in Toronto and I live in Denver.  Isn’t the Internet a great thing?  Zach really understands social media.  A while back, Zach and I exchanged a few tweets on the importance of saying thank you.  Here’s one of the tweets Zach sent me…

“The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”

I agree.  A sincere “thank you” always makes my day.  I really appreciate the people who take the time to thank me for these blog posts and my daily success quotes.  My day gets a little brighter every time someone thanks me.

That’s why I end every one of my blog posts with, “Thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.”  I really appreciate the time you take to read my blog.  Thanking you is the least I can do to show this appreciation.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.   Etiquette is a matter of common sense.  Lydia Ramsey, a leading etiquette consultant, says it’s as simple as one, two, three: 1) Think about other people; 2) Put yourself in their place; 3) Do whatever you can to make them feel comfortable.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 76 in Success Tweets.  “Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old-fashioned; it’s smart business and leads to a successful life and career.”  Ladies and gentlemen are gracious.  They don’t worry about the rules.  They worry about making other people feel comfortable and accepted.  Saying “Thank you” often is a great way to brand yourself as a lady or gentleman.  And, as Zach Bussey points out, “The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”  Go ahead, be a lady or gentleman.  Other people will like you, you’ll like yourself more, and you’ll be on the road to the career success you deserve.

That’s my career advice prompted by a visit to Dr. Gene Rosenthall.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  And as always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new career advice book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get the career advice in I Want YOU… for free by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Today’s career success advice comes courtesy of Charlie Brown – the Denver city councilman, not the Peanuts character.  In an op-ed piece he wrote for the Denver Post entitled “Put Down Your BlackBerry and Listen to the Citizens,” he urges his fellow city council members to not use their cell phones during council meetings.

At the end of every Denver city council meeting, individual citizens are given three minutes at the podium to speak to the council about any subject they choose.  Councilman Brown said…

“At the end of one recent council meeting, I observed several colleagues with hands below their desktops, eyes focused down, trying hard to hide their frantic texting during much of the public hearing.  The council president called each speaker by name to the podium located a few steps from council members.  But even the close proximity didn’t matter.  Texting continued as some members seemed oblivious to the speakers.”

A little further into his piece, Councilman Brown quoted Denver Mayor Michael Hancock…

“As a former Denver city councilman, I think it is a good idea to limit the use of cell phones during public hearing.  It’s about being courteous to your fellow council members and to those who have come to speak before the council.”

I agree with Councilman Brown and Mayor Hancock.  Tweet 108 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Live people take precedence over phone calls.  Continue in person face to face conversations, rather than answering your cell phone.”

When I wrote this tweet, I was writing about how to become an effective communicator – not about elected officials.  Quite frankly, I was shocked to read Councilman Brown’s op-ed piece.  In my opinion, the public hearing is the most important part of a city council meeting.  Council members need to demonstrate basic courtesy to their constituents by listening to what they have to say.

Setting aside the disrespect that Denver city council members show their constituents, there is some great life and career advice in Councilman Brown’s op-ed piece.

I am really sorry that Women’s Edge Magazine is no longer with us.  I used to find a lot of great career advice and common sense wisdom in its pages.  The January 2008 issue of Women’s Edge made two great quotes that relate to the career advice in Success Tweet 108.

• “Communicate respect in every encounter with every person, regardless of position or background.”  Robyn Hall, Raleigh Police Department
• “Listen and speak at the same time, meaning that you actively engage people with your full attention.”  Judy Fourie, J. Fourie & Company

I urge you to follow these two pieces of career success advice.  They will help you become known as an interpersonally competent person and a dynamic communicator and a life and career success.

Focusing on live people – rather than your electronic gadgets – is the best way to demonstrate your respect for others.  Respect is the key to building strong relationships with the people in your life – not just those who can do something for you, but everyone you meet.  Many people – like some members of our Denver City Council — show a lot of respect for people above them in the hierarchy, and little respect for those below them.  This is too bad.  Often people below you can do as much or more for you than those above you.  But that’s not the point.  The point is that they’re people too, and as such, are entitled to your respect.

The Optimist Creed has some great things to say about respect.  It encourages us to, “Promise yourself to make all your friends feel as if there is something in them…and to give every living creature you meet a smile.”   If you want a copy of The Optimist Creed to hang in your office, go to http://BudBilanich.com/optimist.

Judy Fourie’s quote is interesting for what it has to say about human interaction.  I like the idea of “listening and speaking at the same time.”  In other words, as you engage someone, listen very carefully to what he or she has to say so you can respond appropriately.  What you say should be directly related to what the other person has just said.  This demonstrates that you are listening.  It also demonstrates that you value what he or she says – a great way to show someone that you respect him or her.

Being fully engaged means that, unlike some members of the Denver City Council, you shut out the distractions of the world and focus your attention on the person who is speaking to you.  People tell me that they can never get me on my cell phone.  This is true.  My cell phone is not a good way to contact me because it is usually off.  My cell phone is usually off because I am often in conversations with my career success coach clients.  I don’t want the distraction of a ringing or vibrating cell phone when I’m trying to concentrate on another person and what he or she is saying.

The two quotes from Women’s Edge Magazine above are complementary.  One of the best ways to show others that you respect others is to engage them.  One of the best ways to engage people is to listen to what they say and respond appropriately.  If you keep these two pieces of common sense advice in mind as you meet people, you’ll be on your way to becoming an interpersonally competent person and the life and career success you deserve to be.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Demonstrate your respect for other people by paying attention to them and what they have to say.  Don’t act like some of the members of the Denver City Council.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 108 in Success Tweets.  “Live people take precedence over phone calls.  Continue in-person, face-to-face conversations, rather than answering your cell phone.”  Focusing on live people – rather than your electronic gadgets – is the best way to demonstrate your respect for others.  Respect is the key to building strong relationships with the people in your life – not just those who can do something for you, but everyone you meet.  Strong relationships are an important key to your life and career success.

That’s the career advice I took from reading Charlie Brown’s op-ed piece on cell phone use during Denver City Council meetings.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.   I value you and I appreciate you.  And, I promise to turn off my cell phone if we every have a face to face conversation.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career advice, all in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new career advice book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get the career advice in I Want YOU… for free by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Lydia Ramsey and I have just published a new career advice book: Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.    It’s about business etiquette.  You can get a copy at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=success+tweets+for+creating+positive+personal+impact&sprefix=Success+tw.  Tweet 4 says, .  “Be courteous.  It costs you nothing and can mean everything to someone else.  It also helps in getting what you want.”

Last Tuesday my flight from Denver to Newark was delayed by about an hour.  Instead of returning to the President’s Club, I chose to stay at the gate and do some people watching.  I got to observe some courteous behavior and some very discourteous behavior.

First the courteous behavior — the gate area was crowded.  Three travelers came up.  All were over 60, one was in a wheel chair.  The attendant pushing the wheelchair was able to find only one seat.  He parked the wheelchair near it.  One of the wheelchair bound person’s traveling companions had a place to sit, the other did not.  A young man immediately got up and offered his seat to the other traveling companion.  I thought that was pretty cool.  I bet he is a career success.

On the other hand, I observed a 30ish couple who had staked out an area on the floor in the boarding area.  They had several bags that were spread over a fairly large area.  They had to iPads that they were charging and they were eating.  People could not easily get by them to get to the podium to check in.   The woman realized they were causing a bit of a traffic jam, and mentioned it to the man.  His response, was “Screw them, we were here first” – not exactly courteous.  Make me wonder if he is a career success.

Because of the delay, several people kept returning to the podium to ask questions of the agents.  One guy stood there patiently waiting.  Two people cut in front of him and approached the podium.  Finally, he said to the third person, “There’s a line here.”  The guy’s response – “I have to ask her (the agent) a question.”  He went to the agent and asked his question.  This guy was in his 50’s and looked to be a career success – he was sitting in first class.  He is someone who should have mastered basic courtesy by this point in his life.

Air travel is stressful enough these days – crazy TSA rules, overcrowded flights, delays.  Simple courtesy, such as displayed by the young man who offered his seat to people traveling with a wheelchair bound person, mitigates some of that stress.  Rude behavior adds to it.

If you want to become the career success you deserve to be, you have to become a courteous person.  Here are some of my thoughts on basic courtesy…

• Open doors for others (regardless of gender or status).  Courteous people open doors for others and hold the door, until everyone in their party has walked through.  They also hold the door behind them if someone else is approaching.
• Allow people to exit elevators prior to entering.  If you are near the buttons, press and hold the “door open” button until everyone in the elevator has made their exit.
• Always stand to greet visitors.  This shows that you respect them as individuals.  Shake hands, and offer your visitor a seat before you sit down yourself.
• Assist your visitors with their coats.  Offer to hang it for them.  If you don’t have a place to hang a coat in your office, place it neatly over the back of a chair.
• Introduce the person of lower business rank to the person of higher business rank.

Here are some of my thoughts on business meal courtesy…

• Wait until everyone has been seated before unfolding your napkin and placing it in your lap at a business meal.
• Remember, your water glass is on your right and your bread and butter plate is on your left.  If someone uses your bread and butter plate, don’t correct him or her, just place your bread on your dinner plate.
• If you leave the table during a meal, place your napkin on your chair.  Once you have finished eating, place your napkin neatly, but not folded, on the table.
• Wait until everyone has been served before beginning to eat.
• Do not put your purse or briefcase on the table.
• Avoid using your cell phone during business meals.
• The host should be the one to bring up business.  If you are the host, it is usually best to wait until everyone’s order has been taken before beginning a business discussion.
• The most senior person in the group should pay for business meals – unless that person has delegated that responsibility.

These are just a few common sense tips on business etiquette.  If you follow them, you will find that people respond positively to you – that you’re making a positive personal impact.  And making a positive personal impact is an important part of life and career success.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  Basic courtesy is the foundation of all positive personal impact.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 4 in Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.  “Be courteous.  It costs you nothing and can mean everything to someone else.  It also helps in getting what you want.”  It’s true, courtesy can mean a lot to others – like the people traveling with the wheelchair bound person.  It also marks you as someone who pays attention to others – not just yourself.  Courtesy helps you create positive personal impact, and positive personal impact helps you get people on your side.  People who are on your side are more willing to help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  You can get a copy of Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=success+tweets+for+creating+positive+personal+impact&sprefix=Success+tw

That’s my career advice on being courteous.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of one of my other career success books Success Tweets Explained. It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened my new membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get your free copy of I Want You… by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.com.

Lydia Ramsey and I have just published a new career advice book: Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.    It’s about business etiquette.  You can get a copy at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=success+tweets+for+creating+positive+personal+impact&sprefix=Success+tw.  Tweet 4 says, .  “Be courteous.  It costs you nothing and can mean everything to someone else.  It also helps in getting what you want.”

Last Tuesday my flight from Denver to Newark was delayed by about an hour.  Instead of returning to the President’s Club, I chose to stay at the gate and do some people watching.  I got to observe some courteous behavior and some very discourteous behavior.

First the courteous behavior — the gate area was crowded.  Three travelers came up.  All were over 60, one was in a wheel chair.  The attendant pushing the wheelchair was able to find only one seat.  He parked the wheelchair near it.  One of the wheelchair bound person’s traveling companions had a place to sit, the other did not.  A young man immediately got up and offered his seat to the other traveling companion.  I thought that was pretty cool.  I bet he is a career success.

On the other hand, I observed a 30ish couple who had staked out an area on the floor in the boarding area.  They had several bags that were spread over a fairly large area.  They had to iPads that they were charging and they were eating.  People could not easily get by them to get to the podium to check in.   The woman realized they were causing a bit of a traffic jam, and mentioned it to the man.  His response, was “Screw them, we were here first” – not exactly courteous.  Make me wonder if he is a career success.

Because of the delay, several people kept returning to the podium to ask questions of the agents.  One guy stood there patiently waiting.  Two people cut in front of him and approached the podium.  Finally, he said to the third person, “There’s a line here.”  The guy’s response – “I have to ask her (the agent) a question.”  He went to the agent and asked his question.  This guy was in his 50’s and looked to be a career success – he was sitting in first class.  He is someone who should have mastered basic courtesy by this point in his life.

Air travel is stressful enough these days – crazy TSA rules, overcrowded flights, delays.  Simple courtesy, such as displayed by the young man who offered his seat to people traveling with a wheelchair bound person, mitigates some of that stress.  Rude behavior adds to it.

If you want to become the career success you deserve to be, you have to become a courteous person.  Here are some of my thoughts on basic courtesy…

• Open doors for others (regardless of gender or status).  Courteous people open doors for others and hold the door, until everyone in their party has walked through.  They also hold the door behind them if someone else is approaching.
• Allow people to exit elevators prior to entering.  If you are near the buttons, press and hold the “door open” button until everyone in the elevator has made their exit.
• Always stand to greet visitors.  This shows that you respect them as individuals.  Shake hands, and offer your visitor a seat before you sit down yourself.
• Assist your visitors with their coats.  Offer to hang it for them.  If you don’t have a place to hang a coat in your office, place it neatly over the back of a chair.
• Introduce the person of lower business rank to the person of higher business rank.

Here are some of my thoughts on business meal courtesy…

• Wait until everyone has been seated before unfolding your napkin and placing it in your lap at a business meal.
• Remember, your water glass is on your right and your bread and butter plate is on your left.  If someone uses your bread and butter plate, don’t correct him or her, just place your bread on your dinner plate.
• If you leave the table during a meal, place your napkin on your chair.  Once you have finished eating, place your napkin neatly, but not folded, on the table.
• Wait until everyone has been served before beginning to eat.
• Do not put your purse or briefcase on the table.
• Avoid using your cell phone during business meals.
• The host should be the one to bring up business.  If you are the host, it is usually best to wait until everyone’s order has been taken before beginning a business discussion.
• The most senior person in the group should pay for business meals – unless that person has delegated that responsibility.

These are just a few common sense tips on business etiquette.  If you follow them, you will find that people respond positively to you – that you’re making a positive personal impact.  And making a positive personal impact is an important part of life and career success.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful people create positive personal impact.  Basic courtesy is the foundation of all positive personal impact.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 4 in Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact.  “Be courteous.  It costs you nothing and can mean everything to someone else.  It also helps in getting what you want.”  It’s true, courtesy can mean a lot to others – like the people traveling with the wheelchair bound person.  It also marks you as someone who pays attention to others – not just yourself.  Courtesy helps you create positive personal impact, and positive personal impact helps you get people on your side.  People who are on your side are more willing to help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  You can get a copy of Success Tweets for Creating Positive Personal Impact at http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_10?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=success+tweets+for+creating+positive+personal+impact&sprefix=Success+tw

That’s my career advice on being courteous.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of one of my other career success books Success Tweets Explained. It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened my new membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get your free copy of I Want You… by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.com.

Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You’re the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 80, the last in a series on creating positive personal impact…

Learn and use the basic rules of etiquette.  Social Faux pas might not ruin your career, but they certainly won’t help it.

All that stuff your Mom told you about being polite is true — and great career advice.  You can never go wrong by being polite and acting like a lady or gentleman.  I try to act as a gentleman at all times.  Polite people are mannerly. 

Polite people know and follow the basic rules of etiquette.  Take some time to learn the rules.  While being polite trumps the rules, knowing what to do in any social situation always helps you create positive personal impact.

My friend Sharon Hill, author of The Wild Woman’s Guide to Etiquette, makes a great point about the difference between manners and etiquette.  Sharon says that manners are about kindness and caring about other people.  Etiquette is protocol, rules of behavior that you need to learn and use. 

Manners come from your heart, etiquette comes from your head.  Ladies and gentlemen are both well mannered and follow the rules of etiquette.

If you know and follow the basic rules of etiquette, you won’t look foolish in social situations.  You will admired for demonstrating class and confidence.  Proper etiquette can help you get ahead in business because you will create  positive personal impact.  Sometimes, you won’t even know that people are watching, but believe me someone usually is.

On the other hand, manners distinguish you as a caring person, someone who values every human being.  I wrote about this in yesterday’s post.  Well mannered people treat every person they meet with a kindness that reinforces the self worth of the other person.  You can know and follow all the rules, but still not be well mannered.  While I think it’s important to know and follow the rules, if I had to choose between manners and etiquette, manners would win every time.

Handwritten thank you notes are a great way to distinguish yourself as a lady or gentleman.  They demonstrate both good manners and proper etiquette.  Here are three tips for writing great thank you notes.   1) Write legibly.  2) Always identify the gift you received – be specific.  Your note will be more personal this way.  3) Always mention how you plan on using the gift.  You can create all sorts of positive personal impact with thank you notes. 

These days there are companies like Send Out Cards who produce and sell what I call “faux handwritten notes.”  They take a sample of your handwriting and then use it to create messages that they will send on your behalf.  In my opinion, these cards are better than an email, but they still don’t substitute for a handwritten note.  Two reasons: first, you still have to compose the message and e mail it to the vendor; and second, while these cards look pretty good, they still don’t have the intensely personal feel of a note written by hand.

As with most things, there is one rule of etiquette that I always follow.  I always do whatever I can to help the people around me feel comfortable.  I do this because I want to be – and be thought of – as a gentleman. 

For example, when you are dining with others, you may know that your water glass is on the right and that your bread and butter plate is on the left.  Other people may not know this.  So if someone uses your bread plate, don’t say “Hey, that’s mine – yours is over there.”  Just place your roll on your dinner plate.  Being right is no excuse for embarrassing someone else.

Remember, friends can help take you where you want to go.  Etiquette and manners will help you make those friends and create the life and career success you want and deserve.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are comfortable in all situations.  They follow the career advice in Success Tweet 80.  “Learn and use the basic rules of etiquette.  Social Faux pas might not ruin your career, but they certainly won’t help it.”  While being kind and valuing others is more important than knowing and applying the rules, knowing and using the rules will mark you as someone in the know – someone who is an up and comer.  Take the time to learn the rules.  In that way, you’ll be able to use them without thinking about them.  When this happens, you’ll be better able to focus on the conversation and the people around you.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 80 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You’re the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 78…

Say “thank you” often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.

Zach Bussey is a Twitter friend of mine.  He lives in Toronto and I live in Denver.  Isn’t the internet a great thing?  Zach really understands social media.  You should check out his site.  The other day, Zach and I exchanged a few tweets on the importance of saying thank you.  Here’s one of the tweets Zach sent me…

“The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”

I agree with this career advice.  A sincere “thank you” always makes my day.  I really appreciate the people who take the time to thank me for these blog posts and my daily success quotes.  My day gets a little brighter every time someone thanks me for soemthing I’ve done, no matter how small.

That’s why I end every one of my blog posts with something like, “thanks for reading.”  I really appreciate the time you take to read my blog.  Thanking you is the least I can do to show this appreciation.  From time to time I offer things for free here to show my thanks.  Today, I’d like to thank you by sending two inspirational movies your way. 

Check out “Acres of Diamonds” at http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=AcresofDiamonds.

And you might like Carrots, Eggs and Coffee.  http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=CarrotsEggsCoffee.

A while back, I did a blog post where I featured Jeff Hajek’s book Whaddya Mean I Gotta Be Lean?  I like this book.  And, as I pointed out in the post, Jeff provides some great career advice in a book that at first glance doesn’t seem to have much to do with career success.

Jeff sent me an e mail the day after the post ran, thanking me for my favorable comments about his book.  I thought that was great – and for me it was enough thanks.  However, a couple of days later, I received a handwritten note in my snail mail from Jeff.  It read…

Bud,

I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to review Whaddya Mean on your blog.  I am cognizant of the fact that you have gone out of your way to help me, so if there is anything I can ever do to return the favor, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Best wishes,

Jeff

Handwritten thank you notes are not very common these days.  I was touched that Jeff took the time to write one and send it to me.  By sending it, he really strengthened his relationship with me.  The next time he asks for my help, I am very likely to give it to him.  Also, he offered his help to me.  I feel that I can go to him if I need assistance in his area of expertise.  Jeff used a simple technique – a handwritten note – to build his relationship with me.

My post helped Jeff – any exposure helps.  But I reviewed his book because I thought it would be useful to readers of this blog.  My intent was to provide readers of this blog with useful information and career advice.  So my review was a win/win/win.  Good for readers of this blog, good for Jeff, and good for me because I am meeting one of my goals – helping others create the life and career success that they want and deserve.  All of us benefited. 

Jeff purchased a thank you card for his note to me.  That was great, but I have an even better idea.  I have invested in a set of note cards with my name printed at the top and my return address on the back flap of the envelope.  I suggest that you do the same – you’ll find yourself writing more thank you notes when you have a card handy. 

One of the companies where I do a lot of consulting and coaching work has picked up on this idea.  They have placed blank thank you notes – with one of their core values on the front of the card – at convenient locations in their offices.  Their intent is to get employees to thank one another for good work.  And it has worked.  People are sending more of these handwritten notes to their colleagues, strengthening relationships within the company.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people are good at building relationships.  Thanking people when they help you is a great way to build relationships.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 78 in Success Tweets.  “Say “thank you” often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.”  Besides thanking people in person, hand written notes are a great way of saying thank you.  Hand written thank you notes establish you as someone who cares about other people and is willing to go a little out of your way to build relationships — the hallmark of interpersonally competent and successful people.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 78 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this topic with us.  As always, you have my deepest gratitude for taking time out of your day to read what I’ve written.

Bud

Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You’re the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 78…

Say “thank you” often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.

Zach Bussey is a Twitter friend of mine.  He lives in Toronto and I live in Denver.  Isn’t the internet a great thing?  Zach really understands social media.  You should check out his site.  The other day, Zach and I exchanged a few tweets on the importance of saying thank you.  Here’s one of the tweets Zach sent me…

“The word ‘thanks’ is used less and less.  It’s unfortunate, because it’s the kind of word that can change someone’s day.”

I agree with this career advice.  A sincere “thank you” always makes my day.  I really appreciate the people who take the time to thank me for these blog posts and my daily success quotes.  My day gets a little brighter every time someone thanks me for soemthing I’ve done, no matter how small.

That’s why I end every one of my blog posts with something like, “thanks for reading.”  I really appreciate the time you take to read my blog.  Thanking you is the least I can do to show this appreciation.  From time to time I offer things for free here to show my thanks.  Today, I’d like to thank you by sending two inspirational movies your way. 

Check out “Acres of Diamonds” at http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=AcresofDiamonds.

And you might like Carrots, Eggs and Coffee.  http://www.lifesecretsonline.com/movie/?t=TCSG&m=CarrotsEggsCoffee.

A while back, I did a blog post where I featured Jeff Hajek’s book Whaddya Mean I Gotta Be Lean?  I like this book.  And, as I pointed out in the post, Jeff provides some great career advice in a book that at first glance doesn’t seem to have much to do with career success.

Jeff sent me an e mail the day after the post ran, thanking me for my favorable comments about his book.  I thought that was great – and for me it was enough thanks.  However, a couple of days later, I received a handwritten note in my snail mail from Jeff.  It read…

Bud,

I appreciate you taking time out of your busy schedule to review Whaddya Mean on your blog.  I am cognizant of the fact that you have gone out of your way to help me, so if there is anything I can ever do to return the favor, please don’t hesitate to ask.

Best wishes,

Jeff

Handwritten thank you notes are not very common these days.  I was touched that Jeff took the time to write one and send it to me.  By sending it, he really strengthened his relationship with me.  The next time he asks for my help, I am very likely to give it to him.  Also, he offered his help to me.  I feel that I can go to him if I need assistance in his area of expertise.  Jeff used a simple technique – a handwritten note – to build his relationship with me.

My post helped Jeff – any exposure helps.  But I reviewed his book because I thought it would be useful to readers of this blog.  My intent was to provide readers of this blog with useful information and career advice.  So my review was a win/win/win.  Good for readers of this blog, good for Jeff, and good for me because I am meeting one of my goals – helping others create the life and career success that they want and deserve.  All of us benefited. 

Jeff purchased a thank you card for his note to me.  That was great, but I have an even better idea.  I have invested in a set of note cards with my name printed at the top and my return address on the back flap of the envelope.  I suggest that you do the same – you’ll find yourself writing more thank you notes when you have a card handy. 

One of the companies where I do a lot of consulting and coaching work has picked up on this idea.  They have placed blank thank you notes – with one of their core values on the front of the card – at convenient locations in their offices.  Their intent is to get employees to thank one another for good work.  And it has worked.  People are sending more of these handwritten notes to their colleagues, strengthening relationships within the company.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are interpersonally competent.  Interpersonally competent people are good at building relationships.  Thanking people when they help you is a great way to build relationships.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 78 in Success Tweets.  “Say “thank you” often.  You’ll succeed, build a strong personal brand and build a legacy of being a nice person.”  Besides thanking people in person, hand written notes are a great way of saying thank you.  Hand written thank you notes establish you as someone who cares about other people and is willing to go a little out of your way to build relationships — the hallmark of interpersonally competent and successful people.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 78 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts on this topic with us.  As always, you have my deepest gratitude for taking time out of your day to read what I’ve written.

Bud

Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less is my new career success coach book.  I’m proud to say that it has just gone into its second printing.  I also want to thank all of the kind folks who have posted a review of Success Tweets on Amazon.com.  You folks are the best.  I really appreciate you. 

You can pick up a copy of Success Tweets at your local bookstore or on line at amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download the eBook version for free at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 76…

Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old fashioned; it’s smart business and leads to a successful life and career.

Last year, I did a series of podcasts on life and career success. Lydia Ramsey was one of my guests.  Lydia is the author of a great book, Manners That Sell.  She is a leading authority on business etiquette and protocol.  She works with corporations, non-profit and educational institutions; helping people avoid the faux pas that can derail their career success.  She also writes a weekly business etiquette column in the Savannah Morning News.

Here is an excerpt of my interview with Lydia.

Bud:  One of the things I’d like to discuss is a word I use a lot.   And that word is “gentleman”.  I tell people that I try to conduct myself as a gentleman at all times.  When I say this, I sometimes get some pretty weird looks.  I’m wondering what your take is on this.  Is being a gentleman or being a lady a dated concept?

Lydia:  Well in some ways I think that it has become that way.  We’ve gotten so politically correct with the terms that we use that we’ve lost some important words in our language, like gentleman and lady.  We’re just overly cautious.  Many people in business don’t necessarily want to be referred as gentlemen and ladies.  They want to be men and ladies.  On the other hand, there are organizations like the Ritz Carlton who want everybody to be referred to, including their own employees, as ladies and gentlemen.  Their motto is “ladies and gentlemen serving ladies and gentlemen”.

Bud:  That’s really interesting.  I take it just from what you write and your whole focus on etiquette that being a gentleman or a lady can never be harmful to your career.

Lydia:  Right, you can never be too nice, I don’t believe.  And you can never be too courteous and respectful of other people.  That’s really what etiquette is about and what manners are about.

Bud:  I agree.  So why are manners and etiquette so important for success?

Lydia:  Well, I like to think about etiquette and manners as not necessarily about the rules, but about the relationships that we have with people and the way that we treat people.  And all of this, as you know, is really built on relationships…relationships with your clients, with your customers, with your coworkers.  Treating people well and with courtesy and respect is a way to build those relationships and to maintain them.

Bud:  That’s interesting.  Tell me a little bit more about this – not rules, but relationships.  I’m interested because I think a lot of people feel they need to pull out their Amy Vanderbilt or Emily Post book and make sure that they do things exactly correct.  What I’m hearing you say is that’s not as important as the way you treat other people.

Lydia:  That’s right.  If your mindset is really about being courteous to other people and just basically being nice to other people then you’re going to be exhibiting good manners.  That’s really what it’s about.  It’s not about a whole set of rules that somebody came up with that were designed to make us all a little crazy or paranoid or whatever.  But it’s really about knowing what to do in certain cases.  Obviously you want to do the right thing.  But you will be doing the right thing if you’re thinking about the other person’s comfort and the other person’s ease.

Bud:  So the real key thing is to think about the other person, put yourself in their place, try to make them feel comfortable and you’re likely to not go too far wrong from an etiquette or a manners point.

Lydia:  That’s right. 

I like Lydia Ramsey’s common sense approach to etiquette:

• Think about other people.
• Put yourself in their place.
• Try to make them feel comfortable.

If you do this, you won’t go wrong from an etiquette or a manners point of view.  What could be easier or more common sense?  In other words, most etiquette comes down to behaving like a lady or gentleman – the point I make in Success Tweet 76.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.   Etiquette is a matter of common sense.  Lydia Ramsey, a leading etiquette consultant says it’s as simple as one, two three.  1) Think about other people.  2) Put yourself in their place.  3) Do whatever you can to make them feel comfortable.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 76 in Success Tweets.  “Always act like a lady or gentleman.  It’s not old fashioned; it’s smart business and leads to a successful life and career.”  Ladies and gentlemen are gracious.  They don’t worry about the rules.  They worry about making other people feel comfortable and accepted.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 76 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.  I value you and your feedback.

Bud