Cathy, my wife, is having shoulder replacement surgery today.  That’s the result of 36 years as a flight attendant; lifting bags and pushing carts.  I’m sure she’ll be fine, but I would appreciate it if you would send some good thoughts – or prayers if you are so inclined – her way today and in the days to come as she rehabs her shoulder.

I saw an interesting article in Fast Company Online the other day called, “The 7 Iconic, Transparent, Empowering Business Buzzwords That Need to Die.”  I always enjoy tongue in cheek career success advice, so I thought I’d pass on these iconic, transparent empowering business buzzwords with my interpretation of what author Tim Phillips has to say about them…

1. Issue – a problem in disguise
2. Passion – so overused that it now has no meaning
3. Unique – if everything is unique, nothing is unique
4. Iconic – why not say desirable?
5. Role – it’s a job
6. Transparency – you can claim transparency without actually doing anything
7. Empowerment – a sneaky way of dodging the brand promise

I’m not sure if I buy all of Mr. Phillips takes on these terms, but he is on to something here.  Most business communication is full of jargon.  If you want to creat the life and career success you deserve, you need to cut it out and communicate using short, easy to understand words.

Tweet 111 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Become a clear concise writer.  Use simple, straightforward language.”

Clear, concise writing is one of three important communication skills and an important key to career success.  Here are four enemies of clear, concise writing.

• Too many words.
• Passive voice.
• Polysyllabic (big) words.
• Jargon and cliches.

In this post, I’ll show you how to avoid these problems.

Too Many Words

I write in a pretty straightforward, clear manner.  However, when I reread my writing, I usually find that I need to cut, rather than add words.  Here are some sentences that I’ve picked out of some of the business correspondence I’ve received lately.  All of them have too many words.  Below, you will find the wordy sentence, followed by my suggested rewrite.

Wordy Sentence: At this point in time, we should, or perhaps I should say we must, proceed to examine our policy of sales incentives.
Rewrite: We need to examine our sales incentive policy now.

Wordy Sentence: I was unaware of the fact that your device could be used for security purposes.
Rewrite: I didn’t know your device could be used for security.

Wordy Sentence: The reason I failed to reply is that I was not apprised of the fact until yesterday that somehow the report had been unavoidably delayed.
Rewrite: I didn’t reply because I didn’t know until yesterday that the report was delayed.

You can see that I was able to cut down the length of each sentence without changing the meaning.  If you want to become a clear, concise writer, work hard at eliminating unnecessary words.  Carefully read what you write, and ruthlessly cut any words that don’t add to your message.  This is important career advice.  You should use the exact number of words you need to accurately and completely get your message across – no more, no less.

Passive Voice

The active voice is always better than the passive voice.  It is more forceful and direct.  Here are some examples that illustrate my point.

Passive Voice:  Plans for the conference will be made by my assistant.
Active Voice:  My assistant will plan the conference.

Passive Voice:  An error has been discovered by our staff.
Active Voice:  Our staff discovered an error.

Passive Voice:  The mistake in billing was rectified by the supplier posthaste.
Active Voice:  The supplier corrected the billing mistake quickly.

Polysyllabic Words

Sometimes, it’s tempting to show off your vocabulary.  Unfortunately, when you’re showing off, you’re probably not doing a good job of communicating.  When my niece graduated from college, I gave her a copy of my just published book, Straight Talk for Success. I told her that I was trying for an “avuncular hip” tone, and asked her for her feedback once she read the book.

She looked at me and said, “What does avuncular mean?”  I said, “Uncle-like.”  She said, “Why didn’t you just say so?”  She had a great point.  She’s no dummy, graduated magna cum laude and has gone on to some great career success early on.  However, she didn’t know what the word “avuncular” meant.  Whose problem was that?  Mine.  I should have used the most easy to understand word; in this case that was two words, “uncle-like.”

I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I used to enjoy Law and Order – especially when Jack McCoy was the Assistant DA.  “Hubris” was one of Jack’s favorite words in his jury summations.  I remember watching some shows where he used this word and wondered why he didn’t say “arrogance.”  They mean the same, and more people are likely to know the word “arrogance” than know the word “hubris.”

Several years ago, I read Stephen King’s book, On Writing.  He is a big proponent of small, easy to understand words.  To illustrate his point about small words, he shared a passage from John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath – one of my all time favorite novels.

“Some of the owner men were kind because they hated what they had to do, and some of them were angry because they hated to be cruel, and some of them were cold because they had long ago found that one could not be an owner unless one were cold.”

That’s a 50-word sentence with 39 one-syllable words and 11 two-syllable words.  If you’ve read the book, you know how well this writing explains the lives of itinerant workers during the great depression.  The career advice here is simple.  Read over what you write, strike the polysyllabic (I mean big ) words, and you’ll communicate better.

Jargon and Cliches

Finally, eliminate jargon and clichés from your writing.  Don’t assume that everyone who will read what you write is as up on jargon as you are.

You might not believe me when I say that I don’t watch a lot of TV, as I have another great example from a TV show.  If you spend any time on the Internet – especially Twitter – you know what the expression “wtf?” means.  Cathy really likes the show, Modern Family.  It won a couple of Emmys this past year.  I think it is pretty funny too.

In one of the episodes, the father was trying to show his teenage daughters that he was pretty cool and with it.  He said something like, “I know about these Internet abbreviations…. omg – Oh My God, lol – laugh out loud, wtf – why the face?”  Remember, some of your readers may be as clueless about things you take for granted as the father on Modern Family.

Cliches are another problem for clear writing.  If “it goes without saying,” don’t say it in writing.  When you say, “To be perfectly honest…” I wonder if you’re usually not honest in what you say.  Read your writing carefully for clichés.  Cut them.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 111 in Success Tweets.  “Become a clear, concise writer.  Make your writing easy to read and understand.  Use simple, straightforward language.”  Reading what you write is the key to following this career advice.  When you read your writing, look for words that you can eliminate and for ways to use the active, rather than passive voice.  If you put these common sense pieces of career advice to work, your writing will improve greatly.

Thats the career advice I gleaned from the Fast Company online article about overused jargon terms in today’s business communication.  What do you think?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on career and life success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new career advice book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get the career advice in I Want YOU… for free by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

Cathy, my wife, is having shoulder replacement surgery today.  That’s the result of 36 years as a flight attendant; lifting bags and pushing carts.  I’m sure she’ll be fine, but I would appreciate it if you would send some good thoughts – or prayers if you are so inclined – her way today and in the days to come as she rehabs her shoulder.

I saw an interesting article in Fast Company Online the other day called, “The 7 Iconic, Transparent, Empowering Business Buzzwords That Need to Die.”  I always enjoy tongue in cheek career success advice, so I thought I’d pass on these iconic, transparent empowering business buzzwords with my interpretation of what author Tim Phillips has to say about them…

1. Issue – a problem in disguise
2. Passion – so overused that it now has no meaning
3. Unique – if everything is unique, nothing is unique
4. Iconic – why not say desirable?
5. Role – it’s a job
6. Transparency – you can claim transparency without actually doing anything
7. Empowerment – a sneaky way of dodging the brand promise

I’m not sure if I buy all of Mr. Phillips takes on these terms, but he is on to something here.  Most business communication is full of jargon.  If you want to creat the life and career success you deserve, you need to cut it out and communicate using short, easy to understand words.

Tweet 111 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Become a clear concise writer.  Use simple, straightforward language.”

Clear, concise writing is one of three important communication skills and an important key to career success.  Here are four enemies of clear, concise writing.

• Too many words.
• Passive voice.
• Polysyllabic (big) words.
• Jargon and cliches.

In this post, I’ll show you how to avoid these problems.

Too Many Words

I write in a pretty straightforward, clear manner.  However, when I reread my writing, I usually find that I need to cut, rather than add words.  Here are some sentences that I’ve picked out of some of the business correspondence I’ve received lately.  All of them have too many words.  Below, you will find the wordy sentence, followed by my suggested rewrite.

Wordy Sentence: At this point in time, we should, or perhaps I should say we must, proceed to examine our policy of sales incentives.
Rewrite: We need to examine our sales incentive policy now.

Wordy Sentence: I was unaware of the fact that your device could be used for security purposes.
Rewrite: I didn’t know your device could be used for security.

Wordy Sentence: The reason I failed to reply is that I was not apprised of the fact until yesterday that somehow the report had been unavoidably delayed.
Rewrite: I didn’t reply because I didn’t know until yesterday that the report was delayed.

You can see that I was able to cut down the length of each sentence without changing the meaning.  If you want to become a clear, concise writer, work hard at eliminating unnecessary words.  Carefully read what you write, and ruthlessly cut any words that don’t add to your message.  This is important career advice.  You should use the exact number of words you need to accurately and completely get your message across – no more, no less.

Passive Voice

The active voice is always better than the passive voice.  It is more forceful and direct.  Here are some examples that illustrate my point.

Passive Voice:  Plans for the conference will be made by my assistant.
Active Voice:  My assistant will plan the conference.

Passive Voice:  An error has been discovered by our staff.
Active Voice:  Our staff discovered an error.

Passive Voice:  The mistake in billing was rectified by the supplier posthaste.
Active Voice:  The supplier corrected the billing mistake quickly.

Polysyllabic Words

Sometimes, it’s tempting to show off your vocabulary.  Unfortunately, when you’re showing off, you’re probably not doing a good job of communicating.  When my niece graduated from college, I gave her a copy of my just published book, Straight Talk for Success. I told her that I was trying for an “avuncular hip” tone, and asked her for her feedback once she read the book.

She looked at me and said, “What does avuncular mean?”  I said, “Uncle-like.”  She said, “Why didn’t you just say so?”  She had a great point.  She’s no dummy, graduated magna cum laude and has gone on to some great career success early on.  However, she didn’t know what the word “avuncular” meant.  Whose problem was that?  Mine.  I should have used the most easy to understand word; in this case that was two words, “uncle-like.”

I don’t watch a lot of TV, but I used to enjoy Law and Order – especially when Jack McCoy was the Assistant DA.  “Hubris” was one of Jack’s favorite words in his jury summations.  I remember watching some shows where he used this word and wondered why he didn’t say “arrogance.”  They mean the same, and more people are likely to know the word “arrogance” than know the word “hubris.”

Several years ago, I read Stephen King’s book, On Writing.  He is a big proponent of small, easy to understand words.  To illustrate his point about small words, he shared a passage from John Steinbeck’s The Grapes of Wrath – one of my all time favorite novels.

“Some of the owner men were kind because they hated what they had to do, and some of them were angry because they hated to be cruel, and some of them were cold because they had long ago found that one could not be an owner unless one were cold.”

That’s a 50-word sentence with 39 one-syllable words and 11 two-syllable words.  If you’ve read the book, you know how well this writing explains the lives of itinerant workers during the great depression.  The career advice here is simple.  Read over what you write, strike the polysyllabic (I mean big ) words, and you’ll communicate better.

Jargon and Cliches

Finally, eliminate jargon and clichés from your writing.  Don’t assume that everyone who will read what you write is as up on jargon as you are.

You might not believe me when I say that I don’t watch a lot of TV, as I have another great example from a TV show.  If you spend any time on the Internet – especially Twitter – you know what the expression “wtf?” means.  Cathy really likes the show, Modern Family.  It won a couple of Emmys this past year.  I think it is pretty funny too.

In one of the episodes, the father was trying to show his teenage daughters that he was pretty cool and with it.  He said something like, “I know about these Internet abbreviations…. omg – Oh My God, lol – laugh out loud, wtf – why the face?”  Remember, some of your readers may be as clueless about things you take for granted as the father on Modern Family.

Cliches are another problem for clear writing.  If “it goes without saying,” don’t say it in writing.  When you say, “To be perfectly honest…” I wonder if you’re usually not honest in what you say.  Read your writing carefully for clichés.  Cut them.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 111 in Success Tweets.  “Become a clear, concise writer.  Make your writing easy to read and understand.  Use simple, straightforward language.”  Reading what you write is the key to following this career advice.  When you read your writing, look for words that you can eliminate and for ways to use the active, rather than passive voice.  If you put these common sense pieces of career advice to work, your writing will improve greatly.

Thats the career advice I gleaned from the Fast Company online article about overused jargon terms in today’s business communication.  What do you think?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on career and life success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site on September 1.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  To celebrate the grand opening, I’m giving away a new career advice book I’ve written called I Want YOU…To Succeed in Your Corporate Climb.  You can find out about the membership site and get the career advice in I Want YOU… for free by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

I’m in the home stretch of a series of blog posts that further explain the career advice in Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less, my latest career success coach book.  I’m going to be sorry when this series is finished.  I hope you’re enjoying reading it as much as I’m enjoying writing it. 

Success Tweets is about to go into its third printing.  That really pleases me.  It has become a greater success than I thought it would be.  You can pick up a copy at your local bookstore or at Amazon.com.  Better yet, you can download it for free at www.SuccessTweets.com. 

Today’s career advice comes from Success Tweet 112

Explain jargon as you go along; or provide a glossary at the end of the document.  Better yet, avoid jargon if at all possible.

A couple of years ago the Money section of USA Today had an interesting article called “Do Foreign Executives Balk at Sports Jargon?”
 
Author Del Jones began by saying, “English may be the international language of business, but foreign executives who are fluent in it find themselves at a loss unless they master conversational horsehide and the vocabulary of other US sports.”  “Conversational horsehide”, by the way, is jargon for the ability to use baseball terms in conversation.

She wrote about how baseball jargon has infiltrated business conversation in the USA.  As we are getting to close to the baseball playoffs and World Series, I thought I’d use her article to provide some career advice that illustrates how much we use sports jargon in the USA and how this can have a negative impact on both our ability to communicate in writing and conversation.

People who are not familiar with US sports – and that includes a lot of people born in the US – suffer from sports jargon overload.  Del Jones article was very entertaining – and it had an important message for anyone who wants to become a good communicator – use jargon, especially sports jargon — as little as possible in everyday conversation and business writing.

I agree.  I learned this lesson the hard way.  I was conducting a workshop in Europe that I had conducted very successfully in the US.  The workshop began with a baseball analogy – one has to go from first to second to third base before scoring a run.  While most of the people in the European audience understood the concept and the reference, many were upset that an American would use a uniquely American example when conducting a workshop in Europe. 

Paula Shannon, a Senior VP with Lionbridge, a Massachusetts based company with 4,000 employees in 25 countries knows what I’m talking about.  She says, “The Hail Mary (American football jargon) is my favorite example of bad jargon.  You can establish your American centricity, and risk a religious offense at the same time.”

The common sense career advice here is simple.  In order to become a great communicator, limit your use of jargon.  Converse, write and present in easily and universally understood terms.  Be precise in your use of language.

Having said that, I am going to post the baseball/business dictionary Ms. Jones included in a sidebar to her article – just because I think it’s fun…

Baseball – Business Dictionary

Manufacture a Run

Baseball: Scoring without power, or even a solid hit.  For example, a walk, followed by a stolen base, an error and a squeeze play.  Also called small ball.

Business: Succeeding via hard work; growing sales without a blockbuster product.

Late Innings

Baseball: The seventh, eighth and ninth innings of a baseball game.

Business: Late stages of a project; an old product seeing sales eroding due to a competitor’s new product.

Step Up to the Plate

Baseball:  Take your turn at bat, often in an important situation.

Business: Confront a problem, make a crucial decision, go the extra mile when it’s safer or more convenient not to.

Pickle

Baseball: A rundown, catching a runner stranded between bases.

Business: Getting into trouble with little chance of escape.

Can of Corn

Baseball: A fly ball that is easy to catch.

Business: A decision or action that is a no-brainer; a product that sells itself.

Ducks on the Pond

Baseball: Runners on base.

Business: A situation with a good chance of success.

Curve

Baseball:  A pitch that breaks before it gets to the plate.

Business: Anything unexpected

All Bases Covered

Baseball: Fielders doing their job and positioned on relevant bases so the team can get an out.

Business: Being prepared for every contingency.

Mop Up

Baseball: When a mediocre relief pitcher is used because the outcome of the game is certain.

Business: When employees have to remain on projects after star employees have moved on to bigger and better things.

Homer, Dinger, Tater

Baseball: Home runs of various types.

Business: Major accomplishment

O-fer

Baseball: When a batter goes hitless.

Business: Slump with poor results.
If you’re a baseball fan, you may disagree with some of the definitions in this dictionary.  And that is one of the reasons I’ve included it here – to include a graphic depiction of the problem with jargon. 

I remember reading a column in an airline in flight magazine on jargon.  Even though it’s been several years, I still remember this column.  The author began by saying that he has a folder of memos with obtuse language that he has collected over the years.  He shared one memo that a friend sent to him.  I was so struck by the language that I saved it on my hard drive.  The guy who wrote the memo said he was going to “map the handoffs and all processes in a combined swim lanes uber-process.”  I’m pretty hip to a lot of business jargon as I see it every day.  However, I must admit that “swim lanes uber-process” is a new one on me. 

As I’m writing this, I’m reminded of an IBM commercial I saw a while back.  A guy walks into a large, dimly lighted conference room where he sees no tables and chairs and about twenty people lying on the floor.  He says, “What are you guys doing?”  Someone answers, “We’re ideating.”  He says, “What’s that?”  Someone responds, “Coming up with new ways of doing things.”  He says, “Why don’t you just call it that?”

Interestingly enough, the word “ideating” sounds a lot like a made up word to me.  I expected spell check to flag it.  It didn’t.  So I guess I am behind the times on some of my business jargon.  Even so, I think saying that you’re “Coming up with new ways of doing things,” is much more clear than saying that you’re “Ideating.”  But what do I know?

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Jargon causes communication problems.  Successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 112 in Success Tweets.  “Explain jargon as you go along; or provide a glossary at the end of the document.  Better yet, avoid jargon if at all possible.”  Don’t assume that everybody who reads what you write will be as familiar with jargon as you.  Make your writing clear, concise and readable – that mean as little jargon as possible.

That’s my take on the career advice in Success Tweet 112.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud