Calvin Coolidge was the 30th President of the United States.  He was a small government Republican.  Comments on his presidency are eerily similar to what is being played out in US politics today.    Many historians look favorably on the reduction of the size of government programs during his presidency.  Others feel that the federal government under Coolidge should have been more involved in regulating and controlling the economy, and are not so quick to heap praise on his administration.

Coolidge was known as “Silent Cal” as he was a man of few words.  But when he did speak, he came up with some gems.  One of my very favorite life and career success quotes comes from Silent Cal Coolidge…

“Nothing in this world can take the place of persistence. Talent will not; nothing is more common than unsuccessful people with talent. Genius will not; unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not; the world is full of educated derelicts. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent. The slogan “press on” has solved and always will solve the problems of the human race”

I was skimming through Napoleon Hill’s classic book Think and Grow Rich the other day when I came upon his thoughts on persistence.  They reflect President Coolidge’s…

“One of the main causes of failure is a lack of persistence.  You may overcome this weakness through effort and intensity of desire.  Will power is the basis of persistence; increasing your will or desire will help to strengthen your persistence…Persistence is not reliant on education or intelligence, and requires only a little bit of time and effort.  There are four simple, but necessary, steps that will lead to the practice of persistence:  1) a stated purpose, backed by burning desire, 2) a definite plan, expressed in continuous action, 3) a mind closed against criticism and discouragement, and 4) a friendly alliance with at least one person who will encourage you to follow through with your plans.  Persistence should become a habit.”

I really like Dr. Hill’s third and fourth points.  Tweet 49 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Surround yourself with positive people.  Hold them close.  They will give you energy and help you create the career success you deserve.”  Tweet 50 says, “Jettison the negative people in your life. They are energy black holes.  They will such you dry; but only if you let them.”

Persistent people, successful people, surround themselves with positive people – people who are both positive by nature, and positive about their life and career success.  Positive people are optimistic; and optimism is the first step in building your self-confidence and life and career success.

As Napoleon Hill points out, positive people help you feel good about yourself and become more persistent, because they feel good about themselves – and life in general.  They help you build your self-esteem because they have a strong sense of self-esteem.  Positive people are there when you begin to doubt yourself or when you want to give up.  They are not threatened by you or your success.  They realize that self-esteem is not a fixed pie.  There is an unlimited amount of it to go around, so positive people are always giving it away.  You can build your self-confidence and jumpstart your life and career success by spending your time with upbeat, positive people.

It’s pretty simple.  When you surround yourself with positive, self-confident people, you become positive and self-confident.  On the other hand, when you surround yourself with negative or cynical people, you become negative and cynical.

The choice is yours.  I choose to surround myself with positive people.  Not only do they help my self-confidence, they are more fun to be around.

I’m a big fan of Mark Twain.  One of my favorite quotes of his gets at the heart of surrounding yourself with positive people and jettisoning the negative people in your life…

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Mark Twain and Napoleon Hill thnk alike when it comes to negative people.  Negative people are a drag on your goals and your ambitions.  They can hamper your chances of becoming a truly persistent and successful person.  They are quick to tell you what you can’t do, offer little encouragement, and hate to see you prove them wrong by succeeding.  Hold these kinds of people at arm’s length.  Don’t spend time with them.  Instead, invest in friendships with positive, upbeat people; the kind of people who not only don’t belittle your ambitions, but do what they can to help you make them a reality.

Cynics are negative people.  They are also dangerous, because they are seductive.  They always have something witty to say about others – usually others’ shortcomings.  At first, they seem to be funny and amusing.  But spend time with cynics, and you’ll find that they have little joy in life except in pointing out and reveling in others’ problems and failures.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Persistence will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.  But as Napoleon Hill points out, no one — no matter how persistent — can go it alone.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 49 in Success Tweets.  “Surround yourself with positive people.  Hold them close.  They will give you energy and help you create the success you want and deserve.”  Positive people are great.  They feel good about themselves and life in general.  They are enthusiastic – and their enthusiasm is contagious.  When you surround yourself with positive people, you’ll become more positive and enthusiastic.  And, you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.  Who are the most positive people you know?  Get to know them better, spend more time with them.  Don’t let negative people into your life.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 50 in Success Tweets.  “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry, but only if you let them.”  Avoid cynics.  They are jealous and petty, unhappy when others succeed.  Avoid jerks too  – people who are rude, insulting, sarcastic and two-faced.  They will only drag you down.  Make a conscious choice to spend time with positive, optimistic people.  Avoid negative, pessimistic ones.

That’s my career advice on how positive people can help you become more persistent – and to achieve the career success you deserve.  What do you think?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  Thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I really appreciate your support.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, please download a free copy of my popular career advice book Success Tweets and its companion piece Success Tweets Explained.  The first gives you 140 bits of career success advice tweet style — in 140 characters or less.  The second is a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

PPS: I opened a membership site last September.  It’s called My Corporate Climb and is devoted to helping people create career success inside large corporations.  You can find out about the membership site by going to http://www.mycorporateclimb.

I saw some great career success advice in a Facebook posting by Nancy Arroyo Perez the other day.  It was a simple quote…

“I do it because I can.  I can because I want to.  I want to because you said I couldn’t.”

I love what Nancy has to say here.  As we go through life, all of us encounter naysayers and negative people.  The best way to deal naysayers and negative people is to prove them wrong.  Even better, hold them at arms’ length.  That way you won’t have to waste time proving them wrong.

Tweet 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”

I was leading a career success workshop the other day and I mentioned that self-confidence is the hinge on which career success swings, and that optimism and positive people are the most important ingredients in the self-confidence mix.  On the other hand, pessimism and negative can cause the success hinge to rust and become difficult to swing.  That’s why some of my best career advice is to hold tight to the positive people in your life and run – as fast as you can – from the negative ones.

For me, optimism begins with the ten points of The Optimist Creed.  I have given away a couple thousand copies of The Optimist Creed.  If you would like one, just go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Let’s take a look at the difference between positive optimistic people and negative pessimistic people.

Positive, optimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as temporary.
Negative, pessimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as permanent – almost their destiny.

Positive, optimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as isolated occurrences.
Negative, pessimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as omnipresent – things from which you can’t escape.

Positive, optimistic people don’t take problems, failures and setbacks personally.
Negative, pessimistic people personalize problems, failures and setbacks.

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I am an incurable optimist.  I see problems, failures and setbacks not only as temporary, but as opportunities to learn and grow.  I expect things to go well.  When I run into problems, failures and setbacks, I’m always a little surprised because I don’t expect them.  I do, however, plan for them.  Finally, I never take a problem, failure or setback personally.  I’m a human being.  Sometimes I make great decisions.  Sometimes I make poor ones.  My self-worth is not threatened by the occasional problem, failure or setback.

And I choose to hang around with positive, not negative people.

I’m a big fan of Mark Twain.  One of my favorite quotes of his gets at the heart of surrounding yourself with positive people and jettisoning the negative people in your life…

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

Negative people are a drag on your goals, your ambitions and your life and career success.  They are quick to tell you what you can’t do, offer little encouragement, and hate to see you prove them wrong by succeeding.  Hold these kinds of people at arm’s length.  Don’t spend time with them.  Instead, invest in friendships with positive, upbeat people; the kind of people who not only don’t belittle your ambitions, but do what they can to help you make them a reality.

Cynics are negative people.  They are also dangerous, because they are seductive.  They always have something witty to say about others – usually others’ shortcomings.  At first, they seem to be funny and amusing.  But spend time with cynics, and you’ll find that they have little joy in life except in pointing out and reveling in others’ problems and failures.

Ambrose Bierce may well be the biggest cynic the world have even seen.  I often see quotes attributed to him on line.  In the early 20th century, he published a book called The Devil’s Dictionary.  Even I admit that some of his definitions are pretty funny.  However, I get tired and frustrated after reading more than one or two.  Here are a couple of quotes from The Devil’s Dictionary…

“Optimism:  The doctrine that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly, everything good, especially the bad, and everything right that is wrong… It is hereditary, but fortunately not contagious.”

“Calamities: Two kinds – misfortunes to ourselves, and good fortune to others.”

No wonder ole’ Ambrose was called “Bitter Bierce” by his contemporaries.  First, he bashes optimism, then he suggests that human beings see the good fortune of others as a personal calamity.

Here are a couple of other entries in The Devil’s Dictionary…

“Politeness: The most acceptable hypocrisy.”

“Perseverance: A lowly virtue whereby mediocrity achieves an inglorious success.”

Do you know any people like Ambrose Bierce?  If you do, my best career advice is to hold them at arm’s length.  While you may find them to be witty and entertaining at first, they will drag you down in the long run.  They will not help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.

Point 6 of The Optimist Creed says…

“Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are of your own.”

This is 180 degrees from what Ambrose has to say.  Successful, self-confident people aren’t jealous or upset by the success of others.  They are genuinely pleased when they see others succeed.  They see the success of others as an inspiration.  They use it to motivate themselves to achieve bigger and better successes.  Negative people choose to see others’ successes as a personal affront.  Take it from a career success coach, these kinds of people will not help you create the life and career success you want and deserve.

Don’t let negative people into your life.  In my career success coach talks, I tell people…

“Allowing a few negative people to make themselves at home in your life is dangerous.  Their poison will quickly infect you.  Negative people try to clone themselves.  Spend too much time with them and you run the risk of becoming one yourself – and of limiting your chances to create the life and career success you deserve.”

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  Successful, self-confident people don’t let negative people hamper their life and career success.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 50 in Success Tweets.  “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry, but only if you let them.”   Cynics are negative people.  Avoid them.  They may be amusing at first, but in the long run they are jealous and petty, often unhappy when others succeed.  They will only drag you down.  Make a conscious choice to spend time with positive, optimistic people.  Avoid negative, pessimistic ones and you’ll be on your way to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s the career advice inspired by Nancy Arroyo Perez’ Facebook post, “I do it because I can.  I can because I want to.  I want to because you said I couldn’t.”  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

Self confidence is an important key to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.  I always tell my career success coach clients that there are three keys to becoming self confident: 1) Choose to be optimistic, 2) Face your fears and act, and 3)Surround yourself with positive people.

Tweets 49 and 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets say, “Surround yourself with positive people.  Hold them close.  They will give you energy and help you create the career success you deserve.” (49)  “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”  (50)

“Good career advice,” you might say, “but how do I figure out exactly who are the positive and negative people in my life?”

Robin Harpe my friend and a career coach in Florida has provided a great resource to help you answer that question.  Below, you’ll find 20 questions you can ask yourself about anybody you know.  You might be surprised by how well some of the people you consider to be positive and supportive fare under this type of scrutiny.

Here are Robin’s 20 questions for determining exactly who are the positive and negative people in your life…

1. Do they return your phone calls, emails?
2. Do they honor their commitment to you?
3. Do they do what they say they will do?
4. Do they send you information, give you things that will help you without you asking?
5. Do you get things from them without continually have to ask over and over for then?
6. Do they ask questions that show they have been actively listening?
7. Do they only talk about themselves?
8. Do they always ask for favors, and then disappear when you have a need?
9. Do they demand things of you, giving off the impression they are better than you?
10. Do they apologize when they are wrong?
11. Do they blame everyone else, never accepting responsibility for their part?
12. Do they talk a good game but no follow through?
13. Do they accept total responsibility for everything?
14. Do they speak about themselves in third person?
15. Do they constantly say, “I could never do that”?
16. Do they constantly say, “I wish _____”?
17. Do they tell the same stories, over and over and over – nothing new?
18. Do those stories come from the glory days of their life?
19. Do they talk positively or negatively?
20. Do they subscribe to WOW customer service by giving you more value, and going out of their way and way above what you expected?

I like these questions.  My thanks to Robin for blogging about them.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  You have to be self confident to create the life and career success you want and deserve.  Surrounding yourself with positive people is an important confidence booster.  Positive people will lift you.  Negative people will drag you down.  Use the 20 questions above to help you figure out exactly who the positive and negative people in your life are.  Choose to hang around with positive, upbeat people and you’ll be on your way to the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my career advice on identifying the positive people in your life.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

Self confidence is an important key to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.  I always tell my career success coach clients that there are three keys to becoming self confident: 1) Choose to be optimistic, 2) Face your fears and act, and 3)Surround yourself with positive people.

Tweets 49 and 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets say, “Surround yourself with positive people.  Hold them close.  They will give you energy and help you create the career success you deserve.” (49)  “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”  (50)

“Good career advice,” you might say, “but how do I figure out exactly who are the positive and negative people in my life?”

Robin Harpe my friend and a career coach in Florida has provided a great resource to help you answer that question.  Below, you’ll find 20 questions you can ask yourself about anybody you know.  You might be surprised by how well some of the people you consider to be positive and supportive fare under this type of scrutiny.

Here are Robin’s 20 questions for determining exactly who are the positive and negative people in your life…

1. Do they return your phone calls, emails?
2. Do they honor their commitment to you?
3. Do they do what they say they will do?
4. Do they send you information, give you things that will help you without you asking?
5. Do you get things from them without continually have to ask over and over for then?
6. Do they ask questions that show they have been actively listening?
7. Do they only talk about themselves?
8. Do they always ask for favors, and then disappear when you have a need?
9. Do they demand things of you, giving off the impression they are better than you?
10. Do they apologize when they are wrong?
11. Do they blame everyone else, never accepting responsibility for their part?
12. Do they talk a good game but no follow through?
13. Do they accept total responsibility for everything?
14. Do they speak about themselves in third person?
15. Do they constantly say, “I could never do that”?
16. Do they constantly say, “I wish _____”?
17. Do they tell the same stories, over and over and over – nothing new?
18. Do those stories come from the glory days of their life?
19. Do they talk positively or negatively?
20. Do they subscribe to WOW customer service by giving you more value, and going out of their way and way above what you expected?

I like these questions.  My thanks to Robin for blogging about them.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  You have to be self confident to create the life and career success you want and deserve.  Surrounding yourself with positive people is an important confidence booster.  Positive people will lift you.  Negative people will drag you down.  Use the 20 questions above to help you figure out exactly who the positive and negative people in your life are.  Choose to hang around with positive, upbeat people and you’ll be on your way to the life and career success you want and deserve.

That’s my career advice on identifying the positive people in your life.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

For me, the Memorial Day weekend is more than a US holiday and the unofficial start of summer.  Memorial Day weekend is always the middle weekend of the French Open — one of the four tennis majors.   If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I often find career advice in sporting events.  This year’s French Open presents another opportunity to connect career success with sports.

One of the biggest upsets so far this year was Kim Clijsters loss in the second round to Arantxa Rus, the 114th ranked player in the world.  Kim Clijsters was seeded second in this year’s French Open.  She won the two previous tennis majors, the 2011 Australian Open and 2010 US Open.  If I were a betting man, I would have bet heavily on her to beat Arantxa Rus.

Last week Kim Clijsters lost two match points and 11 of the last 12 games to Arantxa Rus.  After the match she said..

“I starting doubting a little bit.  When you start doubting yourself on any surface – but for me definitely on clay – it’s the wrong attitude to have.” 

In other words, Kim Clijsters was eliminated from this year’s French Open because she lost her confidence.   Arantxa Rus, on the hand gained confidence as the match went on.  Kim Clijsters said, “She obviously starting building up more confidence, started playing a lot better, and was really putting me on my back foot all the time.”

Confidence is important in sports.  It’s also important if you want to create the life and career success you want and deserve. 

There are five keys to building the self confidence that will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve…

First, you have to become an optimist.  Optimism is the key to self confidence.  If you aren’t optimistic about your chances of creating your career success, you will never do it.  Optimism is a choice.  Optimistic people believe that today will be better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better yet.  Choose optimism and you’ll be on your way to being more self confident and creating your life and career success.

Second, you have to face your fears and act.  We’re all afraid sometime.  If you want to become a career success, you have to overcome your fear of failure and move forward.  I find that procrastination is the physical manifestation of fear.  The next time you find yourself procrastinating ask yourself a simple question, “What am I afraid of here?”  Once you identify your fear, do something.  Take action.  The worst thing that will happen is that you’ll learn what not do in similar situations in the future.

Third, surround yourself with positive people.  Positive people will help you become more self confident and help you on your way to career success.  Avoid negative people.  As Tweet 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”  Cynics are negative people.  They may seem to be good company at first because they are witty.  However, in the long run, you’ll find that they humor usually comes at the expense of others.  They are negative people in disguise and will drag you down if you spend too much time with them.

Fourth, find a mentor to help you on your way to life and career success.  Mentors are positive people by definition.  They are willing to give of themselves to help others create their life and career success.  You can learn a lot from your mentors.  But I think the best thing you can learn is how to deal with setbacks and disappointments and keep moving forward in a self confident manner.

Fifth, become a mentor.  It’s never too early to become a mentor.  There is always somebody who needs to learn what you already know.  You never learn something as well when you teach it to others.  Becoming a mentor will help you cystalize the career success lessons in your experiences.  This will help you build your self confidence.  Also, as you watch the people you help grow and move toward their career success, your self esteem – and self confidence – will grow.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  If you want to create the life and career success you deserve, you need to be self confident.  There are five keys to building your self confidence: 1) choose optimism; 2) face your fears and act; 3) surround yourself with positive people; 4) work with a mentor; and 5) mentor others.  If all else fails, follow the career advice in Tweet 52 in Success Tweets.  “Identify the self confident people you know.  Pay attention to how they act and carry themselves.  Watch what they do.  Act like them.”

That’s my career advice on self confidence.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

For me, the Memorial Day weekend is more than a US holiday and the unofficial start of summer.  Memorial Day weekend is always the middle weekend of the French Open — one of the four tennis majors.   If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I often find career advice in sporting events.  This year’s French Open presents another opportunity to connect career success with sports.

One of the biggest upsets so far this year was Kim Clijsters loss in the second round to Arantxa Rus, the 114th ranked player in the world.  Kim Clijsters was seeded second in this year’s French Open.  She won the two previous tennis majors, the 2011 Australian Open and 2010 US Open.  If I were a betting man, I would have bet heavily on her to beat Arantxa Rus.

Last week Kim Clijsters lost two match points and 11 of the last 12 games to Arantxa Rus.  After the match she said..

“I starting doubting a little bit.  When you start doubting yourself on any surface – but for me definitely on clay – it’s the wrong attitude to have.” 

In other words, Kim Clijsters was eliminated from this year’s French Open because she lost her confidence.   Arantxa Rus, on the hand gained confidence as the match went on.  Kim Clijsters said, “She obviously starting building up more confidence, started playing a lot better, and was really putting me on my back foot all the time.”

Confidence is important in sports.  It’s also important if you want to create the life and career success you want and deserve. 

There are five keys to building the self confidence that will help you create the life and career success you want and deserve…

First, you have to become an optimist.  Optimism is the key to self confidence.  If you aren’t optimistic about your chances of creating your career success, you will never do it.  Optimism is a choice.  Optimistic people believe that today will be better than yesterday and tomorrow will be better yet.  Choose optimism and you’ll be on your way to being more self confident and creating your life and career success.

Second, you have to face your fears and act.  We’re all afraid sometime.  If you want to become a career success, you have to overcome your fear of failure and move forward.  I find that procrastination is the physical manifestation of fear.  The next time you find yourself procrastinating ask yourself a simple question, “What am I afraid of here?”  Once you identify your fear, do something.  Take action.  The worst thing that will happen is that you’ll learn what not do in similar situations in the future.

Third, surround yourself with positive people.  Positive people will help you become more self confident and help you on your way to career success.  Avoid negative people.  As Tweet 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”  Cynics are negative people.  They may seem to be good company at first because they are witty.  However, in the long run, you’ll find that they humor usually comes at the expense of others.  They are negative people in disguise and will drag you down if you spend too much time with them.

Fourth, find a mentor to help you on your way to life and career success.  Mentors are positive people by definition.  They are willing to give of themselves to help others create their life and career success.  You can learn a lot from your mentors.  But I think the best thing you can learn is how to deal with setbacks and disappointments and keep moving forward in a self confident manner.

Fifth, become a mentor.  It’s never too early to become a mentor.  There is always somebody who needs to learn what you already know.  You never learn something as well when you teach it to others.  Becoming a mentor will help you cystalize the career success lessons in your experiences.  This will help you build your self confidence.  Also, as you watch the people you help grow and move toward their career success, your self esteem – and self confidence – will grow.

The career success coach point here is simple common sense.  If you want to create the life and career success you deserve, you need to be self confident.  There are five keys to building your self confidence: 1) choose optimism; 2) face your fears and act; 3) surround yourself with positive people; 4) work with a mentor; and 5) mentor others.  If all else fails, follow the career advice in Tweet 52 in Success Tweets.  “Identify the self confident people you know.  Pay attention to how they act and carry themselves.  Watch what they do.  Act like them.”

That’s my career advice on self confidence.  What do you think?  Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily thoughts on life and career success.  I value you and I appreciate you.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career success book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of career advice explaining each of the common sense tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.  You’ll also start receiving my daily life and career success quotes.

In late March the folks at www.SelfGrowth.com published an article that contained some great career advice from Lori Radun called “7 Ways to Deal With the Negative People in Your Life.”  As you know, I’m a big believer in surrounding yourself with positive people.  Positive people help build your self confidence and help you on your journey to life and career success. 

 I also think that negative people can really hold you back on your career success journey.  In fact, Tweet 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”

 I also realize that this is easier said than done.  Sometimes the negative people we encounter are in our family, sometimes they are coworkers.  We all have deal with negative people on occasion.  That’s why I like Lori’s article.  Here are her seven bits of career advice on dealing with negative people.

1.  Let the negativity pass.  No one is in a negative mood 100% of the time.  Don’t argue with people when they’re in a negative mindset.
2. Give positive – not negative – attention to negative people.  Often their negativity is nothing more than a cry for attention.
3. Focus on the positive.  Look for the positive in the situation. It can be difficult to find, but there is something positive in almost any situation.
4. Ask negative people to elaborate.  Often, negative people speak in absolutes – “always” or “never.”  Asking for specific examples can help you take some of the negativity out of the situation.
5. Don’t try to change the negative person.  Let him or her vent.  You don’t have to agree with what he or she says, but you can tone down the negativity by just listening.
6. Avoid negative people if you can.  As I’ve mentioned above, sometimes you have to interact with negative people.  However, do your best to minimize your contact with them.
7. Keep your own negative thoughts and behaviors in check.  You can choose your attitude.  Choose to be positive.  Be grateful for the positive things in your life and you’ll be better equipped to deal with negativity when it pops up.

 I like all seven of Lori’s points, but I particularly like Point 2, Give positive – not negative attention to negative people.  Tweet 105 in Success Tweets says, “Conversation tips: be warm pleasant, gracious and sensitive to the interpersonal needs and anxieties of others.”  This is doubly true when it comes to dealing with negative people.  They need kindness and support too.  Sometimes your kindness may be just what they need tohelp them get over their negativity.

Tweet 106 in Success Tweets says, “Demonstrate your understanding of others’ points of view. Listen well and ask questions if you don’t understand.”  This is another way of providing positive attention to negative people.  How do you show provide positive attention to a negative person?  Lori Radun says “You must listen to what he or she is trying to tell you.”  Great point.  Engaging, listening, and asking questions shows a negative person that you are paying attention.  Often, that is all the positive attention they need.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  We all have to deal with negative people on occasion.  When it comes to dealing with negative people, successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 105 in Success Tweets.  “Conversation tips: be warm, pleasant, gracious and sensitive to the interpersonal needs and anxieties of others.”  Inviting negative people to participate in a conversation in which you really listen to what they have to say is an important, but often overlooked conversation skill.  When you invite a negative people to join a conversation about what is bugging them, you give them positive attention and help them deal with their negativity.  If you want to become adept at dealing with negative people, follow all seven of Lori Radun’s points but focus on point 2 — give them positive – not negative attention.  Engage negative people in conversation.  Your relationships with them will improve, and you might help them deal with some of their negativity.  This simple common sense career advice can make your life a lot more pleasant and put you on the road to the career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on the common sense career advice I found in Lori Radun’s SelfGrowth.com article on dealing with negative people.  What do you think?   Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career advice  book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of common sense career advice explaining each of the tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.

In late March the folks at www.SelfGrowth.com published an article that contained some great career advice from Lori Radun called “7 Ways to Deal With the Negative People in Your Life.”  As you know, I’m a big believer in surrounding yourself with positive people.  Positive people help build your self confidence and help you on your journey to life and career success. 

 I also think that negative people can really hold you back on your career success journey.  In fact, Tweet 50 in my career advice book Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”

 I also realize that this is easier said than done.  Sometimes the negative people we encounter are in our family, sometimes they are coworkers.  We all have deal with negative people on occasion.  That’s why I like Lori’s article.  Here are her seven bits of career advice on dealing with negative people.

1.  Let the negativity pass.  No one is in a negative mood 100% of the time.  Don’t argue with people when they’re in a negative mindset.
2. Give positive – not negative – attention to negative people.  Often their negativity is nothing more than a cry for attention.
3. Focus on the positive.  Look for the positive in the situation. It can be difficult to find, but there is something positive in almost any situation.
4. Ask negative people to elaborate.  Often, negative people speak in absolutes – “always” or “never.”  Asking for specific examples can help you take some of the negativity out of the situation.
5. Don’t try to change the negative person.  Let him or her vent.  You don’t have to agree with what he or she says, but you can tone down the negativity by just listening.
6. Avoid negative people if you can.  As I’ve mentioned above, sometimes you have to interact with negative people.  However, do your best to minimize your contact with them.
7. Keep your own negative thoughts and behaviors in check.  You can choose your attitude.  Choose to be positive.  Be grateful for the positive things in your life and you’ll be better equipped to deal with negativity when it pops up.

 I like all seven of Lori’s points, but I particularly like Point 2, Give positive – not negative attention to negative people.  Tweet 105 in Success Tweets says, “Conversation tips: be warm pleasant, gracious and sensitive to the interpersonal needs and anxieties of others.”  This is doubly true when it comes to dealing with negative people.  They need kindness and support too.  Sometimes your kindness may be just what they need tohelp them get over their negativity.

Tweet 106 in Success Tweets says, “Demonstrate your understanding of others’ points of view. Listen well and ask questions if you don’t understand.”  This is another way of providing positive attention to negative people.  How do you show provide positive attention to a negative person?  Lori Radun says “You must listen to what he or she is trying to tell you.”  Great point.  Engaging, listening, and asking questions shows a negative person that you are paying attention.  Often, that is all the positive attention they need.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  We all have to deal with negative people on occasion.  When it comes to dealing with negative people, successful people follow the career advice in Tweet 105 in Success Tweets.  “Conversation tips: be warm, pleasant, gracious and sensitive to the interpersonal needs and anxieties of others.”  Inviting negative people to participate in a conversation in which you really listen to what they have to say is an important, but often overlooked conversation skill.  When you invite a negative people to join a conversation about what is bugging them, you give them positive attention and help them deal with their negativity.  If you want to become adept at dealing with negative people, follow all seven of Lori Radun’s points but focus on point 2 — give them positive – not negative attention.  Engage negative people in conversation.  Your relationships with them will improve, and you might help them deal with some of their negativity.  This simple common sense career advice can make your life a lot more pleasant and put you on the road to the career success you want and deserve.

That’s my take on the common sense career advice I found in Lori Radun’s SelfGrowth.com article on dealing with negative people.  What do you think?   Please take a minute to share your thoughts with us in a comment.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

PS: If you haven’t already done so, you can download a free copy of my latest career advice  book Success Tweets Explained.  It’s a whopping 390 + pages of common sense career advice explaining each of the tweets in Success Tweets in detail.  Go to http://budurl.com/STExp to claim your free copy.

Paulette Ensign is a friend of mine.  She runs a business called Tips Products International.  On Monday, I got an email from her that got me thinking about one of my favorite career success points.  Paulette said…

“Maybe you’ve got dream killers in your life. You know, the friends, family, and colleagues who just don’t get it, and who feel compelled to bring their limited thinking to you as the only way for life to be, who suck the oxygen out of your brilliance.”

Tweet 50 in my career success book, Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”  Negative people are dream killers.  And, as Paulette says, they can “suck the oxygen out of your brilliance.”

Positive people are optimistic.  Negative people tend to be pessimists.  I was leading a career success workshop the other day and I mentioned that self-confidence is the hinge on which life and career success swings, and that optimism is the most important ingredient in the self-confidence mix. 

On the other hand, pessimism can cause the career success hinge to rust and become difficult to swing.  That’s why some of my best career advice is to hold tight to the positive people in your life and run – as fast as you can – from the negative ones, the dream killers.

For me, optimism begins with the ten points of The Optimist Creed.  I have given away a couple thousand copies of The Optimist Creed.  If you would like one, just go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Let’s take a look at the difference between positive optimistic people and negative pessimistic people.

Positive, optimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as temporary.  Negative, pessimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as permanent – almost their destiny.

Positive, optimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as isolated occurrences.  Negative, pessimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as omnipresent – things from which you can’t escape.

Positive, optimistic people don’t take problems, failures and setbacks personally.  Negative, pessimistic people personalize problems, failures and setbacks.

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I am an incurable optimist.  I see problems, failures and setbacks not only as temporary, but as opportunities to learn and grow.  I expect things to go well. 

When I run into problems, failures and setbacks, I’m always a little surprised because I don’t expect them.  I do, however, plan for them.  Finally, I never take a problem, failure or setback personally.  I’m a human being.  Sometimes I make great decisions.  Sometimes I make poor ones.  My self-worth is not threatened by the occasional problem, failure or setback.

And, I choose to hang around with positive, not negative people.

I’m a big fan of Mark Twain.  One of my favorite quotes of his gets at the heart of surrounding yourself with positive people and jettisoning the negative people in your life…

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

These are the kind of people Paulette calls dream killers.  Negative people are a drag on your goals and your ambitions.  They are quick to tell you what you can’t do, offer little encouragement, and hate to see you prove them wrong by succeeding. 

Hold these kinds of people at arm’s length.  Don’t spend time with them.  Instead, invest in friendships with positive, upbeat people; the kind of people who not only don’t belittle your ambitions, but do what they can to help you make them a reality.

Cynics are negative people.  They are also dangerous, because they are seductive.  They always have something witty to say about others – usually others’ shortcomings.  At first, they seem to be funny and amusing.  But spend time with cynics, and you’ll find that they have little joy in life except in pointing out and reveling in others’ problems and failures.

Create a dream killer free life.  Don’t let negative people, dream killers, into your life.  Hold them at arm’s length.  In my career success coach talks, I tell people…

“Allowing a few dream killers to make themselves at home in your life is dangerous.  Their poison will quickly infect you.  Dream killers try to clone themselves.  Spend too much time with them and you run the risk of becoming one yourself.”

The common sense career success coach point here is clear.  Successful, self-confident people don’t let dream killers into their lives.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 50 in Success Tweets.  “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry, but only if you let them.”  Avoid dream killers and cynics.  They are jealous and petty, unhappy when others succeed.  They will only drag you down.  Make a conscious choice to spend time with positive, optimistic people.  Avoid the negative pessimistic dream killers and you’ll be on the road to life and career success.

That’s my career advice when it comes to dream killers.  What do you think?  How do you keep dream killers out of your life?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

 PS — Don’t forget to download your free copy of Success Tweets Explained at http://budurl.com/STExp.

Paulette Ensign is a friend of mine.  She runs a business called Tips Products International.  On Monday, I got an email from her that got me thinking about one of my favorite career success points.  Paulette said…

“Maybe you’ve got dream killers in your life. You know, the friends, family, and colleagues who just don’t get it, and who feel compelled to bring their limited thinking to you as the only way for life to be, who suck the oxygen out of your brilliance.”

Tweet 50 in my career success book, Success Tweets says, “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry; but only if you let them.”  Negative people are dream killers.  And, as Paulette says, they can “suck the oxygen out of your brilliance.”

Positive people are optimistic.  Negative people tend to be pessimists.  I was leading a career success workshop the other day and I mentioned that self-confidence is the hinge on which life and career success swings, and that optimism is the most important ingredient in the self-confidence mix. 

On the other hand, pessimism can cause the career success hinge to rust and become difficult to swing.  That’s why some of my best career advice is to hold tight to the positive people in your life and run – as fast as you can – from the negative ones, the dream killers.

For me, optimism begins with the ten points of The Optimist Creed.  I have given away a couple thousand copies of The Optimist Creed.  If you would like one, just go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Let’s take a look at the difference between positive optimistic people and negative pessimistic people.

Positive, optimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as temporary.  Negative, pessimistic people tend to see problems, failures and setbacks as permanent – almost their destiny.

Positive, optimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as isolated occurrences.  Negative, pessimistic people see problems, failures and setbacks as omnipresent – things from which you can’t escape.

Positive, optimistic people don’t take problems, failures and setbacks personally.  Negative, pessimistic people personalize problems, failures and setbacks.

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I am an incurable optimist.  I see problems, failures and setbacks not only as temporary, but as opportunities to learn and grow.  I expect things to go well. 

When I run into problems, failures and setbacks, I’m always a little surprised because I don’t expect them.  I do, however, plan for them.  Finally, I never take a problem, failure or setback personally.  I’m a human being.  Sometimes I make great decisions.  Sometimes I make poor ones.  My self-worth is not threatened by the occasional problem, failure or setback.

And, I choose to hang around with positive, not negative people.

I’m a big fan of Mark Twain.  One of my favorite quotes of his gets at the heart of surrounding yourself with positive people and jettisoning the negative people in your life…

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.  Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

These are the kind of people Paulette calls dream killers.  Negative people are a drag on your goals and your ambitions.  They are quick to tell you what you can’t do, offer little encouragement, and hate to see you prove them wrong by succeeding. 

Hold these kinds of people at arm’s length.  Don’t spend time with them.  Instead, invest in friendships with positive, upbeat people; the kind of people who not only don’t belittle your ambitions, but do what they can to help you make them a reality.

Cynics are negative people.  They are also dangerous, because they are seductive.  They always have something witty to say about others – usually others’ shortcomings.  At first, they seem to be funny and amusing.  But spend time with cynics, and you’ll find that they have little joy in life except in pointing out and reveling in others’ problems and failures.

Create a dream killer free life.  Don’t let negative people, dream killers, into your life.  Hold them at arm’s length.  In my career success coach talks, I tell people…

“Allowing a few dream killers to make themselves at home in your life is dangerous.  Their poison will quickly infect you.  Dream killers try to clone themselves.  Spend too much time with them and you run the risk of becoming one yourself.”

The common sense career success coach point here is clear.  Successful, self-confident people don’t let dream killers into their lives.  They follow the career advice in Tweet 50 in Success Tweets.  “Jettison the negative people in your life.  They are energy black holes.  They will suck you dry, but only if you let them.”  Avoid dream killers and cynics.  They are jealous and petty, unhappy when others succeed.  They will only drag you down.  Make a conscious choice to spend time with positive, optimistic people.  Avoid the negative pessimistic dream killers and you’ll be on the road to life and career success.

That’s my career advice when it comes to dream killers.  What do you think?  How do you keep dream killers out of your life?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading my daily musings on life and career success.

Bud

 PS — Don’t forget to download your free copy of Success Tweets Explained at http://budurl.com/STExp.