self conifdence Archives

Success Tweet 59

I’m still enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 59…

Give so much time to building your self confidence and improving yourself that you have not time to criticize others.

This tweet has its roots in Point 9 of The Optimist Creed.  “Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”

Like everything else in The Optimist Creed, this is great common sense career advice.  I know that I have a lot to learn.  There are many things about me on which I can improve.  I’m just guessing here, but I bet that’s true for you too.  That’s why I choose to focus on improving me rather than criticizing others. 

I’m not a real religious guy, but I do remember a few bible stories.  There’s one where people are gathered to stone a woman who is accused of adultery.  Jesus disperses the angry crowd by telling them, “Let he who has no sinned cast the first stone?”  I know I am in no position to be casting stones.  I doubt if you are either.  None of us are perfect.  If we both choose to put our energy into building our self confidence and improving yourselves – not criticizing others for their failings – we will be happier, more confident and successful, and the world will be a less contentious place.

I first learned about Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs when I was in college at Penn State.  The model was structured as a pyramid with “self actualization” at the top.  Dr. Maslow defined self actualization as “being all that you can be” – something the US Army borrowed for its TV recruiting commercials several years ago.

According to Dr. Maslow self actualization is an unattainable state, because no matter what you achieve, you soon realize that you can achieve even more.  You can take this one of two ways.  You can see it as negative and frustrating because you’ll never reach the goal of being self actualized.  Or you can see it as positive and inspiring because you’ll always have another dream to chase, another goal to reach.

I choose the latter.  I was telling someone the other day that the whole web 2.0 phenomenon has been great for me, because I have begun really learning lately.  I’ve always kept up in my field, but I’ve felt for the past few years that most of my learning was incremental.  I wasn’t making any quantum leaps forward.

However, since I’ve begun blogging and tweeting, I’ve learned a lot – really a lot.  And, as the ninth point of the Optimist Creed points out, I haven’t had the time, nor the inclination, to think about what others are doing, much less criticizing them.  I’m busy learning and growing -– and that’s cool and fun and exciting.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  If you want to build your self confidence, work on improving yourself and achieving your goals.  Don’t worry about what others are doing, or comparing yourself to them.  Be too busy with your own growth to worry about anyone else.  Follow the advice in Tweet 59 in Success Tweets.  “Give so much time building our self confidence and improving yourself that you have not time to criticize others.”  This is great career advice.  Criticizing others is a waste of your precious time.  It robs you of the ability to set and achieve your goals and create the life and career success you want and deserve.  Besides that, you’re probably not in the position to be casting stones anyway – I know I’m not.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 59 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Success Tweet 59

I’m still enjoying writing this series of posts on the career advice in my latest book Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I hope you are enjoying reading them.  You can purchase a copy of Success Tweets at Amazon.com or your local bookstore – or you can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.

Today’s career success coach post is on Tweet 59…

Give so much time to building your self confidence and improving yourself that you have not time to criticize others.

This tweet has its roots in Point 9 of The Optimist Creed.  “Give so much time to the improvement of yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”

Like everything else in The Optimist Creed, this is great common sense career advice.  I know that I have a lot to learn.  There are many things about me on which I can improve.  I’m just guessing here, but I bet that’s true for you too.  That’s why I choose to focus on improving me rather than criticizing others. 

I’m not a real religious guy, but I do remember a few bible stories.  There’s one where people are gathered to stone a woman who is accused of adultery.  Jesus disperses the angry crowd by telling them, “Let he who has no sinned cast the first stone?”  I know I am in no position to be casting stones.  I doubt if you are either.  None of us are perfect.  If we both choose to put our energy into building our self confidence and improving yourselves – not criticizing others for their failings – we will be happier, more confident and successful, and the world will be a less contentious place.

I first learned about Abraham Maslow’s hierarchy of human needs when I was in college at Penn State.  The model was structured as a pyramid with “self actualization” at the top.  Dr. Maslow defined self actualization as “being all that you can be” – something the US Army borrowed for its TV recruiting commercials several years ago.

According to Dr. Maslow self actualization is an unattainable state, because no matter what you achieve, you soon realize that you can achieve even more.  You can take this one of two ways.  You can see it as negative and frustrating because you’ll never reach the goal of being self actualized.  Or you can see it as positive and inspiring because you’ll always have another dream to chase, another goal to reach.

I choose the latter.  I was telling someone the other day that the whole web 2.0 phenomenon has been great for me, because I have begun really learning lately.  I’ve always kept up in my field, but I’ve felt for the past few years that most of my learning was incremental.  I wasn’t making any quantum leaps forward.

However, since I’ve begun blogging and tweeting, I’ve learned a lot – really a lot.  And, as the ninth point of the Optimist Creed points out, I haven’t had the time, nor the inclination, to think about what others are doing, much less criticizing them.  I’m busy learning and growing -– and that’s cool and fun and exciting.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  If you want to build your self confidence, work on improving yourself and achieving your goals.  Don’t worry about what others are doing, or comparing yourself to them.  Be too busy with your own growth to worry about anyone else.  Follow the advice in Tweet 59 in Success Tweets.  “Give so much time building our self confidence and improving yourself that you have not time to criticize others.”  This is great career advice.  Criticizing others is a waste of your precious time.  It robs you of the ability to set and achieve your goals and create the life and career success you want and deserve.  Besides that, you’re probably not in the position to be casting stones anyway – I know I’m not.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 59 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to share your thoughts with us by leaving a comment.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Success Tweet 44

I’m still writing about the ideas in my new career success coach book, Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I have about 100 more blog posts to go.  When I’m finished, you’ll have an in depth discussion on each of the 141 tweets in Success Tweets.  You can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.  Hard copies of the book are available on Amazon.com and your local bookstore.

Today’s career success coach post in on Tweet 44…

Be an optimist.  Believe that things will turn out well.  When they don’t, don’t sulk.  Learn what you can, use it next time.

There are two important pieces of career advice about optimism and life and career success in this tweet.  First, optimists believe things will turn out well.  Second, optimists see failure and defeat as temporary.  They treat them as learning opportunities.

Have you seen the movie Remember the Titans?  It’s a sports movie about an improbable situation based on a true story.  Denzel Washington stars as the coach of the T. C. Williams High School Titans.  Williams was a newly integrated high school in Alexandria Virginia in 1971.  Denzel’s character, Coach Herman Boone was a black man chosen to be the head coach over a very popular coach who had been the head coach at the high school prior to it being integrated. 

The team had a lot of good athletes.  They were undefeated as they entered the State Championship game.  Things didn’t go well in the first half.  In the locker room at half time, Denzel makes a speech in which he congratulated the team on coming so far in such a short period of time.  He tells them that win or lose he is proud of them.  It seems as if he has given up.  It sounds like a speech losing coaches give to teams after a game – not at half time.

One of the players speaks up.  He challenges the coach.  He says something like, “We were perfect when this game started.  We’re still perfect until it’s over.  I, for one, want to finish this game like we started it – perfect.”  This impassioned speech rallies the team, and they win the game.  It’s a feel good movie about a group of young men who learned how to pull together regardless of their differences.

And it makes the first point about optimists.  Even when the coach seemed ready to give up, one player wouldn’t.  He was an optimist.  He believed they would win.  His optimism was contagious.  The team rallied and won.  I don’t know if things went down exactly that way in that locker room, but that scene reinforces the power of believing things will turn out well. 

If you don’t believe you can win, if you don’t believe you can create a successful life and career, you won’t.  If you do believe, if you’re an optimist, you’re on the right path to winning and life and career success.

But believing is not enough.  It will set you up for success, but you will still find times when you fail.  That’s where the second piece of career advice in Tweet 44 in Success Tweets comes in.  Don’t sulk when you fail or lose.  Treat every failure and loss as a learning experience.  Use failures and losses as a stepping stone to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.

I was frustrated early in my career.  I saw other people getting promotions for which I thought I was better qualified.  My first job in business was in the training department of a large Oil Company.  I worked hard, did a good job – and kept getting passed over for promotion.  The reasons were vague – “you’ve only been here a little while,” “the hiring manager thought the other person was a better fit,”  “you need to polish up some of those rough edges.”

So I found another job; this time with a Chemical Company.  I worked hard, did a good job, got good performance reviews – and no promotions.  I was frustrated.  In my heart of hearts, I knew I was as good or better than people who were moving ahead while I was standing still.

I decided that maybe more school would be the answer.  I quit my job, and enrolled in a PhD program in Adult Education and Organizational Behavior at Harvard.  Once I got there, I realized that the same thing happens in academia as happens in business.  The hardest workers and best performers don’t always get rewarded and promoted.

I decided that I had an opportunity to use my situation — and my frustration — as a lab.  I didn’t sulk.  I chose to learn from my frustrations and failures.  After all, I was at Harvard.  I was surrounded by high performers – people who had achieved a lot at an early age, and seemed destined to achieve even more.  I decided that maybe I should pay some attention to these folks.

I got one of those marble covered notebooks and made a list of all the people I admired at Harvard.  Then I made a list of all the people in the companies where I had worked who got the promotions I didn’t.  I made another list of the people I knew who I considered to be positive role models.  I didn’t stop there.  I started reading biographies of successful people. I created a page for each person.  I wrote down the characteristics that I observed in these people.  When I was finished, I had a notebook full of the characteristics I observed in successful people.

It was a long list.  So I did kind of a human regression analysis on it.  I started looking for patterns and groups of behaviors.  When it was all said and done, I found four distinct characteristics that the successful people I had studied had in common.

They all:

  • Had a clearly defined purpose and direction for their lives.
  • Were committed to succeeding.  They faced obstacles and overcame them.
  • Were self confident.  They knew they were going to succeed and continue to succeed as they went through life.
  • Shared some basic competencies.  They knew how present themselves in a favorable light.  Other people were attracted to them and wanted to be around them. They were high performers. They were great communicators. They were good at building relationships.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve probably figured out that these are the ideas I cover in Success Tweets and what I’ve been blogging about for the past two months.

Once I finished my degree, I took a job with a very large pharmaceutical company in New York.  I started applying the lessons I learned from observing successful people — and I began getting promotions and good assignments.  I became the confidant of several senior executives and I began coaching up and comers in the company – teaching them the basic principles I had discovered by writing my observations in that marble covered notebook. 

I also kept refining my ideas – making them easier for others to understand and apply.  You never learn something as well as when you teach it.  I became the most sought after internal coach in that company. 

In 1988, I was faced with a decision.  Accept a big promotion to Vice President, or strike out on my own.  I decided that I have an entrepreneurial bent and chose the latter.  I opened up a small career success coaching and speaking business.  The idea was to reach even more people with what I knew about creating a successful life and career.

I tell this story not to pat myself on the back, but to illustrate the second point in today’s tweet: When things don’t turn out as you hope, don’t sulk.  Learn what you can, use it next time.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident and optimistic.  Optimism means believing that things will turn out well, and more important, when they don’t, using the experience to learn and grow and do better next time.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 44 in Success Tweets.  “Be an optimist.  Believe that things will turn out well.  When they don’t, don’t sulk.  Learn what you can, use it next time.”  I’m big on optimism.  My optimism has helped me create the career and life success I wanted.  Your optimism can do the same for you.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 44 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  I’d really like to hear stories where you used the lessons you learned from setbacks and failures to build your career success.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Success Tweet 44

I’m still writing about the ideas in my new career success coach book, Success Tweets: 140 Bits of Common Sense Career Success Advice, All in 140 Characters or Less.  I have about 100 more blog posts to go.  When I’m finished, you’ll have an in depth discussion on each of the 141 tweets in Success Tweets.  You can get a free copy of the eBook at www.SuccessTweets.com.  Hard copies of the book are available on Amazon.com and your local bookstore.

Today’s career success coach post in on Tweet 44…

Be an optimist.  Believe that things will turn out well.  When they don’t, don’t sulk.  Learn what you can, use it next time.

There are two important pieces of career advice about optimism and life and career success in this tweet.  First, optimists believe things will turn out well.  Second, optimists see failure and defeat as temporary.  They treat them as learning opportunities.

Have you seen the movie Remember the Titans?  It’s a sports movie about an improbable situation based on a true story.  Denzel Washington stars as the coach of the T. C. Williams High School Titans.  Williams was a newly integrated high school in Alexandria Virginia in 1971.  Denzel’s character, Coach Herman Boone was a black man chosen to be the head coach over a very popular coach who had been the head coach at the high school prior to it being integrated. 

The team had a lot of good athletes.  They were undefeated as they entered the State Championship game.  Things didn’t go well in the first half.  In the locker room at half time, Denzel makes a speech in which he congratulated the team on coming so far in such a short period of time.  He tells them that win or lose he is proud of them.  It seems as if he has given up.  It sounds like a speech losing coaches give to teams after a game – not at half time.

One of the players speaks up.  He challenges the coach.  He says something like, “We were perfect when this game started.  We’re still perfect until it’s over.  I, for one, want to finish this game like we started it – perfect.”  This impassioned speech rallies the team, and they win the game.  It’s a feel good movie about a group of young men who learned how to pull together regardless of their differences.

And it makes the first point about optimists.  Even when the coach seemed ready to give up, one player wouldn’t.  He was an optimist.  He believed they would win.  His optimism was contagious.  The team rallied and won.  I don’t know if things went down exactly that way in that locker room, but that scene reinforces the power of believing things will turn out well. 

If you don’t believe you can win, if you don’t believe you can create a successful life and career, you won’t.  If you do believe, if you’re an optimist, you’re on the right path to winning and life and career success.

But believing is not enough.  It will set you up for success, but you will still find times when you fail.  That’s where the second piece of career advice in Tweet 44 in Success Tweets comes in.  Don’t sulk when you fail or lose.  Treat every failure and loss as a learning experience.  Use failures and losses as a stepping stone to creating the life and career success you want and deserve.

I was frustrated early in my career.  I saw other people getting promotions for which I thought I was better qualified.  My first job in business was in the training department of a large Oil Company.  I worked hard, did a good job – and kept getting passed over for promotion.  The reasons were vague – “you’ve only been here a little while,” “the hiring manager thought the other person was a better fit,”  “you need to polish up some of those rough edges.”

So I found another job; this time with a Chemical Company.  I worked hard, did a good job, got good performance reviews – and no promotions.  I was frustrated.  In my heart of hearts, I knew I was as good or better than people who were moving ahead while I was standing still.

I decided that maybe more school would be the answer.  I quit my job, and enrolled in a PhD program in Adult Education and Organizational Behavior at Harvard.  Once I got there, I realized that the same thing happens in academia as happens in business.  The hardest workers and best performers don’t always get rewarded and promoted.

I decided that I had an opportunity to use my situation — and my frustration — as a lab.  I didn’t sulk.  I chose to learn from my frustrations and failures.  After all, I was at Harvard.  I was surrounded by high performers – people who had achieved a lot at an early age, and seemed destined to achieve even more.  I decided that maybe I should pay some attention to these folks.

I got one of those marble covered notebooks and made a list of all the people I admired at Harvard.  Then I made a list of all the people in the companies where I had worked who got the promotions I didn’t.  I made another list of the people I knew who I considered to be positive role models.  I didn’t stop there.  I started reading biographies of successful people. I created a page for each person.  I wrote down the characteristics that I observed in these people.  When I was finished, I had a notebook full of the characteristics I observed in successful people.

It was a long list.  So I did kind of a human regression analysis on it.  I started looking for patterns and groups of behaviors.  When it was all said and done, I found four distinct characteristics that the successful people I had studied had in common.

They all:

  • Had a clearly defined purpose and direction for their lives.
  • Were committed to succeeding.  They faced obstacles and overcame them.
  • Were self confident.  They knew they were going to succeed and continue to succeed as they went through life.
  • Shared some basic competencies.  They knew how present themselves in a favorable light.  Other people were attracted to them and wanted to be around them. They were high performers. They were great communicators. They were good at building relationships.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ve probably figured out that these are the ideas I cover in Success Tweets and what I’ve been blogging about for the past two months.

Once I finished my degree, I took a job with a very large pharmaceutical company in New York.  I started applying the lessons I learned from observing successful people — and I began getting promotions and good assignments.  I became the confidant of several senior executives and I began coaching up and comers in the company – teaching them the basic principles I had discovered by writing my observations in that marble covered notebook. 

I also kept refining my ideas – making them easier for others to understand and apply.  You never learn something as well as when you teach it.  I became the most sought after internal coach in that company. 

In 1988, I was faced with a decision.  Accept a big promotion to Vice President, or strike out on my own.  I decided that I have an entrepreneurial bent and chose the latter.  I opened up a small career success coaching and speaking business.  The idea was to reach even more people with what I knew about creating a successful life and career.

I tell this story not to pat myself on the back, but to illustrate the second point in today’s tweet: When things don’t turn out as you hope, don’t sulk.  Learn what you can, use it next time.

The common sense career success coach point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident and optimistic.  Optimism means believing that things will turn out well, and more important, when they don’t, using the experience to learn and grow and do better next time.  Follow the career advice in Tweet 44 in Success Tweets.  “Be an optimist.  Believe that things will turn out well.  When they don’t, don’t sulk.  Learn what you can, use it next time.”  I’m big on optimism.  My optimism has helped me create the career and life success I wanted.  Your optimism can do the same for you.

That’s my take on the career advice in Tweet 44 in Success Tweets.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  I’d really like to hear stories where you used the lessons you learned from setbacks and failures to build your career success.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

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