As a career success coach, I am a big believer in having an abundance mentality.  Put simply, an abundance mentality holds that there is enough of everything for everybody.  People who have an abundance mentality are good at building relationships.  They focus on what they can do for others, knowing that good things will come back to them.

The sixth point of The Optimist Creed is a good example of an abundance mentality in action.  It says: “Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.”

Tweet 123 in Success Tweets, my newest book says, “Use every social interaction to build and strengthen relationships.  Strong relationships are your ticket to success.”

Tweet 128 in Success Tweets says, “When meeting someone new ask yourself, “What can I do for this person?”  You’ll build stronger relationships by thinking this way.”

One of the rules I contributed to 42 Rules for Creating WE is entitled, “There is No Quid Pro Quo in WE.”  In part, here is what I have to say…

WE is built on relationships; the idea that we are all connected, and that through a WE-centric, rather than a traditional I-centric approach, our collective wisdom grows and evolves.  This kind of thinking creates stronger organizations and societies.  It fosters mutual shared respect for the unique contribution every person is capable of making.  Solid, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships are at the core of WE.  Giving with no expectation of return is a great way to create these types of relationships.

This is a quid pro quo world: you do for me and I’ll do for you.  While there is nothing wrong in reciprocating a good deed or a favor, there is a fundamental problem with quid pro quo.  It is reactive not proactive.  Too many people wait for others to go first.  They adopt the attitude, “When and if you do for me, I’ll do for you.”  This scarcity mentality is not conducive to creating WE.  When you come from a scarcity mentality, you focus on holding on to what you already have.  This can prevent you from receiving what you might possibly get.

On the other hand, giving with no expectation of return comes from a proactive abundance mentality.  When you give with no expectation of return, you are acknowledging the abundance of the universe.  You are demonstrating faith that the good you do will benefit others close to you and the world at large – and that good things will come back to you.

Giving with no expectation of return is ironic.  I have found that the more I give, the more I receive; often from unlikely sources.  But that’s not my reason for giving — and I hope it is not yours.  The best reason for giving is the basic joy of making a difference in other people’s lives and in creating a WE-centric world.

Giving with no expectation of return comes down to your mentality – scarcity or abundance.  If you come from a scarcity mentality, you will live by quid pro quo, and perpetuate the I-centric status quo.  If you come from an abundance mentality, you will give with no expectation of return and begin to create a WE-centric world.  I choose abundance and to take an active part in creating a WE-centric paradigm in my circle of influence.

I bring up the idea of an abundance mentality and these examples because of an email I received yesterday.  It appears that this person (who will remain nameless) received one of my success quotes.  At the bottom of the page, there is an offer to get my free DVD on career and life success.  People are directed to go to http://www.commonsensesuccesssystem.com/freedvdoffer.

He sent me an email that said…

“It’s been said that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

“I’ve been running a website and an ezine (I’m not sharing the url here, but suffice it to say it has something to do with common sense and careers) since 2004.

“I added a blog at a later date. I’m gearing up for Twitter and Facebook now.

“I suppose I should be glad you like the name, but, frankly, it irks me.”

My jaw dropped when I read this email.  It was the best example of a scarcity mentality in action that I have seen in a long time.  If I had come across his website, and seen that he focused on common sense and career advice, I would have fired off an email saying something like…

“I just found your website.  I like it.  I think it’s great that we share some ideas in common.  Let’s look for ways to collaborate to get both of our messages out to as many people as possible.”

But then, I come from an abundance mentality.

I sent a return email telling this guy that I had never even seen his website until he sent me the url, and that I had branded myself as The Common Sense Guy in 1997.  That’s seven years before he created his website.

This is a regrettable situation.  Because I feel that this person was impugning my integrity, I am less likely to want to collaborate with him.  That might mean missed opportunities for us both.  Maybe I’ll get in contact in a week or two to see if there are any possibilities of us working together, but for now I’ll pass.  I know this isn’t demonstrative of an abundance mentality, but hey, I’m human you know. 

I’ll take a week or two to get over it and then I’m sure I’ll get over it and get in touch with this guy.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are good at building relationships.  Effective relationship builders come from an abundance mentality, not a scarcity mentality.  If you come from a scarcity mentality, you live by quid pro quo, and worry that someone is out to get what’s rightfully yours.  You perpetuate the I-centric status quo.  If you come from an abundance mentality, you give with no expectation of return.  You are happy for the success of others and enjoy meeting like minded people.  You see them as collaborators and not competitors.  You do your part to create a WE-centric world.  Take it from this career success coach, an abundance mentality will allow you to get what you want in your life and career.  It will put you on the road to career success.

That’s my take on the importance of having an abundance mentality.  What’s yours?  Please take a minute to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.  If you want a .pdf of The Optimist Creed that you can frame and hang in your office, please go to http://BudBilanich.com/optimist.

Bud

Self confidence is one of the keys to personal and professional success that is part of my Common Sense Success System.  I discuss it in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success, Your Success GPS and 42 Rules to Jumpstart your Professional Success. 

You can become self confident by doing three things.  First, choose optimism.  Believe in your heart of hearts that today will be better than yesterday, and that tomorrow will be better than today.  Second, face your fears and act.  Procrastination and inaction feed fear and rob you of self confidence.  Action cures fear.  Third, surround yourself with positive people.  Don’t let the naysayers into your life.  Hang around with people who are positive about themselves, their careers and life in general.

As I’ve mentioned many times in the past, optimism is the foundation of self confidence.  Following the advice in The Optimist Creed is a wonderful way to become more optimistic – and successful.  Today I’d like to focus on point 6 of The Optimist Creed.  If you want a copy of The Optimist Creed that you can frame and hang in your office go to http://budbilanich.com/optimist.

Point 6 of The Optimist Creed says…

“Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.”

Yesterday I did a post on the importance of trust and an abundance mentality in building strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships.   Point 6 of The Optimist Creed captures the essence of an abundance mentality quite nicely.  Being enthusiastic about the success of others demonstrates that you engage with the world from an abundance, not scarcity mentality.  It demonstrates that you realize that there is enough success to go around – that someone else’s success in no way diminishes yours, or your ability to succeed.

I write books on success.  So do a lot of other people.  When someone writes a great book on success – Gary Vaynerchuk’s Crush It, Cathie Black’s Basic Black, Cynthia Brian’s Be the STAR You Are, Steve Ventura’s Work Right and John Wooden’s A Game Plan for Life come to mind immediately – I write about it on this blog.  I do everything I can to get as many people to read the books I like, because these books will help them create the successful lives and careers they want and deserve, but because in a small way, I can help other authors who are writing about things that interest me. 

Two of the authors I mentioned above, Cathie Black and John Wooden, don’t need my help.  They are well established, successful people.  Gary, Cynthia and Steve are not as well known, but they have some great things to say; and I want other people to hear their ideas.  I also want to help them succeed.

Some people might say that I am helping the competition.  I don’t see it that way.  People who read on self help or success book are likely to read several.  I come from an abundance mentality.  When Gary, Cathie, Cynthia, Steve and John succeed in getting their message out, their readers will be hungry for more information – and I might just sell a few more books.  Or maybe I won’t.  That’s OK too.  My audience will find me.

That’s why I’m a big believer in point 6 of The Optimist Creed.  “Promise yourself to be just as enthusiastic about the success of others as you are about your own.”  I believe that success is catchy.  If I hang around (in person and on this blog) with other people who are successful, I will develop the self confidence that will help me become successful in helping others to succeed.  And, that’s what it’s all about.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are self confident.  Self confident people are optimistic.  The Optimist Creed offers great advice on how to become more optimistic.  Point 6 tells us to be enthusiastic about the success of others.  This is great advice.  When you are enthusiastic about the success of others, you come from an abundance mentality.  An abundance mentality helps you realize that there is more than enough success to go around.  You can succeed.  I can succeed.  Everybody else can succeed.  Success is not a fixed pie – it can expand to accommodate everyone who is willing to put in the time and effort to get there.

That’s my take on how an abundance mentality can help build your self confidence and help you succeed in your life and career.  What’s yours?  Please take a few minutes to leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud

Today is my wedding anniversary.  Cathy and I were married 18 years ago.  I want to publicly acknowledge my love for her.  Today’s post is on the importance of trust and abundance in building strong relationships.  From the beginning, we have had a deep and abiding trust in one another.  This trust has created a wonderful, abundant relationship.  Happy anniversary Cathy.  I love you.

Competence is one of the four keys to career and life success in my Common Sense Success System.  I also discuss it in some detail in several of my books: Straight Talk for Success; Your Success GPS; and 42 Rules to Jumpstart Your Professional Success. 

If you want to succeed you need to develop four basic, but important competencies: 1) creating positive personal impact; 2) becoming a consistently high performer; 3) dynamic communication skills; and 4) becoming interpersonally competent. 

There are four key competencies that will help you become a career and life success:

• You have to be able to create positive personal impact.
• You have to be become an outstanding performer.
• You have to be a dynamic communicator – in conversation, writing and presentations.
• You have to build strong, lasting, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in your life.

Building relationships comes down to two words: trust and abundance.

When you trust others you are willing to put yourself out there – to give with no expectation of return, to act in a non quid pro quo manner.  I did a blog post last week in which I mentioned a chapter I wrote in 42 Rules for Creating WE called “There is no quid pro in WE”.  In that post, I pointed out that while there is nothing wrong with returning the favor when someone does you a good turn, waiting for others to help you in not a good idea when it comes to building relationships.  Successful people are willing to put themselves out there – to pay it forward.

Paying it forward takes trust.  Trust in yourself to do for others with no guarantee of return.  Trust in others in that they won’t take advantage of you.  Trust in the universe in that the good you put out will come back to you in unexpected ways.  Trust is the glue that holds relationships together.  The more you demonstrate trust in others, the more they will trust you.

Abundance is also important in building relationships.  People who come from an abundance mentality see life as a non zero sum game; a perspective that holds that we can all be winners in the game of life.  They realize that there is enough for all of us – enough money, recognition, success, the things that people who come from a scarcity mentality see as in short supply.  People who come from a scarcity mentality see life as a zero sum game; if you win, I have to lose and vice versa. 

I choose trust and abundance because I have seen them work in the real world.  What do you choose – trust and abundance, or mistrust and scarcity?  The choice you make can have a huge impact on your ability to build relationships.

The common sense point here is simple.  Successful people are competent at building strong, mutually beneficial relationships with the important people in their lives.  A trusting attitude and abundance mentality are the best way to build relationships.  When you trust yourself, others and the universe you will approach life from an abundance mentality.  You’ll be willing to give of yourself with no expectation of direct return.  This world view will make it easier for you to build and maintain the relationships that will help you create the successful life and career you want and deserve.

That’s my take on trust and abundance.  What’s yours?  Please leave a comment sharing your thoughts with us.  As always, thanks for reading.

Bud